bold proclaimations

i've been thinking about bold proclaimations lately. i don't know why. i think it started when i heard a beatles song on the radio that was covered by some slapass band and it got me thinking about kate opinions on things. i tend to think of myself as being pretty laid-back and open minded about stuff in general. but i do have some bold proclaimations as well. for example:

- you better be some kind of super rock star who is awesome to cover a beatles song. no talent ass-clowns should not do this ever..and neither should country musicians. (some of my friends would say those two are one in the same)

- don't smoke pot right before you're coming to see your academic advisor. we're not stupid and we can tell.

- eating guacamole once a week is a good thing to do, even if you do blow all your weight watchers points for the week. life is short. eat well!

- if you're in a band and you cover pearl jam badly and i've had a few beers, i will inform you loudly that you suck. :) if you cover a bon jovi song a bit later, i will think that you've redeemed yourself somewhat.

- if you have a stuent going to college for the first time, it's okay to give them some guidance, but realize that they have to make decisions themself. they are taking the classes and negotiating the adjustments, even though you may be payin the bill. part of life is making mistakes, being held accountable for them, and learning from them. plain and simple.

- if you haven't regularly talked to someone in like 2 years, chances are you don't know them as well as you once did. allow people to grow and change. the person you knew before might not be the person that exists now.

- if you have purchased some kind of camero or mustang or whatever to feel cooler about yourself because you're middle-aged, then you should drive the speed limit at least. none of this having a fast car and driving 25 in a 45!

- the 'Insert' key on a keyboard is the dumbest thing ever invented and i don't understand it's purpose other than to piss me off.

- it's not okay to be paid a six figure salary for student affairs and then not care about student development or student well-being. ethical leadership means sometimes you have to make unpopular decisions that are what's best for the people you serve and not just to cover the ass of the organization that pays you way too much.

- family and friends are the most important things in life when it comes down to it. everything else can be quite fleeting...but that stuff..and love, is precious.

- happiness cannot be found at target, in other people, or on a weblog (or website for that matter). :) it has to be found inside first. my friend told me that a few times and he's so right.

- cheese and wine are so freakin' good. i love them. yummytastico.

- it's fun to be bold about things that don't matter too much in the big scheme of things. it's probably even fun to make bold proclaimations about important stuff too...as long as they are somewhat informed.

takin' it easy on friday night

i'm spending tonight by myself in my apartment. i haven't got the chance to spend a lot of time with my couch in quite a while and i feel bad about neglecting it. so we're catching up on some quality time together. lucky for me that sex in the city is on. i really like this show, even when carrie asks questions that cross my mind sometimes. tonight she asked, "when will waiting for the one, be done?" she asked it in terms of love, career, just all that stuff. when does waiting for the things that you think will make you happy finally end, because you have that stuff already? makes me think about the many times i've had to tell myself that i need to find happiness in where i am right now. that's hard to do sometimes, because i think i've always had my eye on the future thinking about what i want to be doing next. and i wonder sometimes if i miss out on what's going on right now though..since i sort of have one foot out the door? it's hard not to plan ahead, to have goals...and i think it's good to do that to some extent so you're not totally aimless and lost. but it's also important to really take in what's going on around you too. there's a happy medium there that i think is the answer to carrie's, and my, question. does that mean it's easy? fuck no it doesn't! but i know it'll be okay. things seem to work out the way the should. i know that deep down, even if i don't always remember it.

in the meantime samantha finds a gray hair in her nether-regions. "no one wants to f--- grandma's -----." i have to say i admire samantha a lot. she's fearless, strong, self-assured, and not afraid to do what she wants. even if that means dying her..um...area's hair...well, red. :)

this is a weird post i decided. oh well! go see batman begins. it's awesome and christian bale is a very very hot batman. woo woo!!

whirlwind summer

holy shit people! it's almost july. what in THEE hell happened to this summer? i anticipated being able to hang out with friends doing fun stuff more often and get a tan and go on trips and just relax with my texas peeps. this has not really happened. sara and i go to the rec in the mornings, which is awesome and i'm glad we are doing that (and that we can sleep in sometimes and not go when the need arises...like when air conditioners break and stuff), but i had envisioned more hanging out in the backyard, laying out, listening to music, drinking a beer kinda stuff.

i've been working a lot, especially this week when our professional staff at access are out of town so more is expected of us grad/staff types AND i had seven new freshman sociology majors that i had to create schedules for, which took about 4 hours. so today i've been home for an hour and a half, which makes it really hard to want to do anything but lay around! luckily i'm going to get some time off in july (which will be spent doing research and hanging out in ABQ), which i need desperately...but still not a lot of time with my b/cs friends.

don't worry ags...we'll figure it out. swear! :)

i had other stuff to post but i'll be damned if i can remember. later gators.

progress

i had a pretty low key weekend. got to hang out with a bunch of my friends which was rad. also got 20 mosquito bites on friday night. bastards! mosquitos suck! har har.

so i went to mass tonight. i've been kind of a fair-weather catholic for a while now, which i've wanted to change. it's funny how every time i go to mass, there is something about it that speaks to exactly how i've been feeling or helps me put some problem i have into a better perspective. tonight was no exception. the readings talked about fear and how we shouldn't stress so much and have more faith. and we got to sing the song "Be Not Afraid" which is one of my favorites and has special meaning for me. (mike would have been ranting because of all the guitars and saxophones and stuff.) i know that people reading this come from all types of different backgrounds and perspectives on religion and faith, and i'm definitely not trying to push my stuff on others. totally not my thing when it comes to religion (had my own experiences with pushiness that were icky bad..so i'm pretty open-minded about this). mostly i just wanted to share that when i went tonight, i felt safe and peaceful and just good. i think that time is something that i need for myself. i used to not go because i didn't want to go by myself, but now i think that alone time with my faith is what i need. i don't get enough quiet time in my day to day, week to week life, so i think this will be a regular thing for me. part of my self-improvement plan.

and i'm happy to say that my working out and stuff is paying off. i'm fitting into some pants that haven't fit in a while. wooo! took a three mile bike ride today and then had to come home because it was so damn hot.

happy father's day to all the dad's out there.

um...stupid texas lottery

so i buy lottery tickets every once in a while and i'm glad that the money at least helps education in texas, because i never win. every once in a blue moon i'll win a few bucks on a scratch off, but so far i have not won lotto texas one time. doesn't the lottery commission understand how much i really need to win the lottery? kate has a lot of student loan debt. kate has two jobs and is exhausted. kate wants to buy a new car. kate wants to pay back her parents for the bunches of times they've helped her out. come on texas lottery people...just pick my numbers one time. i promise i'll share it. i'll help out my friends and give some to charity. i'll still finish my Ph.D. swear!

in other news, i have had really restless sleep for a week now. it's no fun.

working out in the mornings with sara is going well, though i ditched out on wednesday but we were both tired puppies i think. i'm ready to see some results. i also signed up for weightwatchers online and i'm hating it a lot. wishing i hadn't gone with the three month subscription. hopefully i'll get used to it and it'll get easier. or i'll just figure out that i should stop snacking and eat less and not need to report it all to my daily points tracker. i lost 10 pounds using WW a few years ago, so i'm hoping that could happen again since that would get me really close to my goal. :)

also, i sent out draft four of my dissertation proposal to my committee today and hopefully i'll get some feedback and get to defend it really soon! :)

perspective

big congrats to tim and lidia! i saw the new member of their family yesterday and she is super cute! good job smiths and welcome ana to our crazy group. :)

i was talking to a friend of mine last night on AIM about something and he reminded me of a poem..sort of..that is great and i really like but lost track of...both in terms of perspective and in terms of actually know where it was in my house. so i'll share it here and then i'll be able to find it.

Life is Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to
risk being called naive.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But the person who risks nothing does nothing, has
nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing.

—Author unknown


i think i ran across this when i was in college long long ago and really liked it. hope you do too readers. :)

mountainlicious

hung out with mike in ABQ this past weekend. we had a bunch of fun as per usual. :) one of the highlights of this trip to the land of enchantment was on sunday afternoon. mike and i drove up to sandia peak and hung out on top of the mountain for a while. we walked around a bit and just sat and took in the view. it was really fantastic and made me miss when i did that in austria sometimes. i didn't tell him this at the time, but i was both enchanted by the view and a little scared. there's something about being way up there that is magical and beautiful and a tiny bit humbling. like one false step and i'm tumbling down a mountain...which is a bit unnerving for kate the clumsy girl who constantly has bruises just from wandering around her room in 205. but i was in good hands, so it was just a little bit of scaredness. i'm definitely ready to do some hiking and exploring sometime! w00t. on the way down the mountain, we got to smell the sweet scent of someone ruining their brakes. the dipshit ahead of us was riding his brakes the entire way, which was more than just a little ridiculous.

this is another short week for me. going to st. louie on thursday to visit my brother and sister-in-law and my new nephew luke! can't friggin' wait!

p.s.- i'm totally 80s and don't have a digital camera but i'll try to post a pic when i get mine developed. :)

shout out to my peeps

i've been a whiny bitch lately. so today, i'm allowing myself to live in the moment for a second. the last few weeks i've been hanging out a lot with some really awesome women and i'm really glad to have that. (i've been hanging out with tim too, who is also a great friend and takes care of me a lot...but he's not a woman so this message isn't about him. sorry tim. suck it up. and then update your blog for goodness sake. sheesh!) i have some really awesome women friends from college and the various places i've lived, who i unfortunately don't get to see very often but i still love dearly. and a lot of the time i hang out with guys and tell fart jokes and drink beer and swear, which i also love. but there's something to be said about have close women friends here in texas. i was hanging out with lindsay and sara and lidia the other night and we talking about girl stuff and eating cheesecake and laughing our asses off and i'm so grateful for times like that. i need them a lot. and i miss my ladies who live in other places (like shells and jen and monica and jody and jocelyn and others who know who they are even if my mind has slipped...need more coffee or more sleep). thanks for kicking ass lady friends. you rock the hizzy, fo-shizzle.

running to stand still

the title of this post is both the title from one of my all-time favorite U2 songs (it's on joshua tree) and how i've been feeling about some things lately. i've been telling you about some of the progress i'm making toward getting my degree done, which is still great and getting me closer to a few important goals of mine. but then there are other ones, that i'm working on but are still out of reach.

for example, i've been working out more and i feel like i see some more muscle tone that i didn't have before (which could just be a figment of my imagination) but i haven't really lost any weight. in fact, i gained weight this week which is quite frustrating. the good news is that i bought a cute skirt from old navy and it fit really well. i didn't have to break a sweat and worry about being able to remove it without destroying it or calling in an employee to help me. (had a goofy experience with a shirt at the gap. it was one of those moments where i realized that i did have boobs and they weren't going to fit into this particular shirt and if i tried to make the shirt fit, they would have to "jaws of life" it off me). so, i know i'm making some progress and the doing something is definitely better than doing nothing. i'm just not seeing results yet.

my other running to stand still has to do with getting over some hurts from the past. i wrote not to long ago that a couple of years ago i was facing a lot of transitions and new horizons and though that stuff all turned out really well, it was still a difficult situation at the time. and though i wouldn't change it, there's a part of me that is hanging onto all the uncertainty and doubt and confusion that i felt then. overall i think i've made a lot of progress in getting past a bunch of stuff. but at the same time, i get scared that maybe things aren't really what they seem. that i can't totally trust my judgement all the time. i find myself being a little more detached or completely involved in friendships and in the moment itself. maybe a fear of getting too comfortable only for it all to change again, like it did two years ago.

damn this is a depressing post. guess i'm in a mood. :P i did find a good quote though that i need to keep in mind. "The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it." -Arnold H Glasgow i don't know who this glasgow guy is but he makes a good point. i need to be more patient with myself...not all goals are easy to check off. sure it's a pain in the ass to fill out a degree plan...but that's a relatively easy task to finish. doesn't require too much patience unless my committee members all simulataenously leave the country. those types of things are easy to crank out. these other goals though...i gotta stop trying to smash the egg and be more patient. how freakin' many times do i have to remind myself of that? :)

so the moral is...no smashing chickens. and go to bed 3 hours sooner even if you miss who's the boss. :)

this is a f*ck

i've been posting a lot about grad school stuff lately, but shit man fuck..i'm graduate school. what the fuck else am i supposed to blog about? :) (damn..lots of f-bombs already!) i've been putting together a reading list for my preliminary exams that will happen sometime in the fall. i'm not done with it yet...still have a lot more to include for my demography section...and it's already 10 pages long. 10 pages of references and books and articles. luckily i've read a lot of it already, which is what is keeping me from dropping my computer off the fourth floor balcony in the academic building or taking a dump outside my committee members doors. (hahaha...no more poop in the hallway..that was just a joke. JOKE!) my hope is that my committee members will not be pure evil and add a ton more to my lists, but they could. this is academic hazing after all. can't they just grode me or shave my head or something? :)

going to ABQ this weekend and looking forward to it. w00t!