welcome fall!

my favorite season has officially started and the weather is actually cooperating. the temperature variations has been a little wacky in the last few weeks. it was pretty cold for this time a year a few weeks ago and then before we knew it, it was like summer again. now, happily, it is staying in the high 60s/low 70s, which i think is perfect. (especially when teaching in rooms without air conditioning.) a few of the trees have more colorful leaves and i can't wait until the reds, golds, and oranges of autumn are in full force. i really love everything about this time of year. the clothes, the weather, the sights, the flavors (like pumpkin spiced things and caramel apple creations), and the events (like college football.) and it means that it's almost thanksgiving. though i do not buy into the mythical beginnings of this holiday, it is my favorite. excellent food, fun memories, and was the beginning of a very important relationship for me. :) i'm happy that fall is here, and that i get to enjoy it in the midwest, where (and i might be a bit biased) it is the most beautiful place to experience it.)

in other news, i have turned in version of two of my dissertation, which will hopefully be very close to the final draft. all the committee members have it in hand (or in email as the case may be) and the defense is next friday. i know there will be things i have to change after that...because i haven't done a great job with proofreading yet. i tend to be somewhat meticulous as i write, but i'm sure there are errors to fix and i just have to muster up the will to read the whole thing again. AND i have to get the formatting and stuff correct for the thesis office. but, i'm really hoping that for the most part, i will be done soon. maybe i can actually get caught up on grading and be an organized teacher who is not constantly flying by the seat of her pants?!

tomorrow i'm riding with my parents to st. louis to meet my new niece. can't wait to meet her and see the family for the weekend. wooo!

"We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to." -- W. Somerset Maugham

i found this quote a while ago and tucked it away in my gmail for a future post. and though the author of the quote probably meant it in a different way that i'm interpreting it, still it could not be more relevant to my life at the moment. i find myself fantasizing about the day when i can write because i want to. but for now, my existence revolves around writing because i have to. it has been extremely difficult to find motivation to get all my dissertation corrections done. i am grateful that my chair got feedback to me at the speed of light and that i gave myself a few extra days to finish before sending it to my committee (the original goal was today, but it's going to be more like sunday morning.) that will give them a little under two weeks to read it before the defense. in the mean time though, i've been trying to write. forcing myself to write. and i have to say...it's difficult. first because i should have been writing every day just to stay in the practice of being able to articulate my thoughts. i feel like i'm at a 3rd grade level right now. "racism is bad." secondly, i'm just not sure how to incorporate some of the things i've been asked to do. in an attempt to accomplish some of them, i'm re-writing my introduction. but that is a formidable task because of the aforementioned lack of writing skills. and apparently i have no attention span right now, so that also doesn't help. regardless, i have to get this done. mostly because i think the relief that i will feel once i've jumped through all necessary hoops is going to be tremendous. i'm not even thinking about how cool it will be to have accomplished this. i'm mostly just thinking about how i want to get this over with! so, i'm going to hope that i can finish this up soon and overcome the mental blocks i seem to be having.

in other news, i'm happy to report that the newest member of my family is going to be arriving from Russia next weekend. i'm very excited that i'll be able to meet my niece Cami in a week. i'll post a picture of her because she's so dang cute. :) it has been a long process for my brother and sister-in-law, so i have no doubt that they are thrilled to have their daughter at last!

lots of fun and trips coming up which is great. really looking forward to seeing mike in october, both because i miss him AND because that will mean that i have hopefully successfully defended my dissertation AND i haven't seen him since i moved here. that has not been easy. so can't wait for that weekend!

anyway, i should get back to work. laters!

a good dissertation is a done dissertation

in college, i was known by my friends as being amazing at pulling quality papers out of my ass at the last minute. you see dear friends...i am a procrastinator. apparently it's how i function. it certainly was in college and continues to be now.

case in point is that i managed to put together my dissertation in about 5 days of writing. of course, that is only partly true, since i spent the last 6 months transcribing interviews, which was a big part of the process. and i wrote a proposal about a year and a half ago or something. so, i did not write it from scratch in a short time, but i did put together a decent first draft of the beast over the last week or so.

i turned it in today via email and our WONDERFUL department assistant, meeting my deadline line and knowing that i will have more work to do. (my conclusion is only 5 pages right now which is not cool.) but i did turn in something like 220 pages (give-take) of a product that i think is pretty dang good. hopefully it will be good enough that i won't have to make too many changes before and after the defense (october 5th!!!) i would even like it if it was good enough to become a book relatively soon.

so, thanks for all your thoughts and encouragement and prayers. i pulled it off...at least the first draft. now i have to get used to having some time off from it for a few days. gotta get my teach on.

but first...kate needs sleep.

:D

brains...hurt

i woke up today both feeling well rested and having a nasty headache. luckily it's finally going away now, but that was a bit odd. i'm chalking it up to stress. i have about a week to get my dissertation draft put together and i'm a bit freaked out. the good news is that my classes should be pretty low key for the rest of the week and a colleague might be able to cover my class on monday so that can be a work day. so i'm confident that i can get a lot done in a short amount of time. it's one of those crazy special skills that i have. in college i was the master at whipping together papers at the last minute. so here's hoping that panic does not cripple that special ability. :)

in other news, i REALLY REALLY need to start going to the gym again. it's hard to make time for it right now when i have this huge hurdle to overcome, but i'm feeling kind of gross and flabby. i'm hopeful that i can get back on track and actually lose some weight! damn those pants that i keep moving. here they are in iowa and not fitting me yet. :P so, though i feel like i can't spare a half hour to go jogging, i should anyway. i'm betting it would be a good stress reliever and boost my body image, which can't hurt.

alright...back to it.