i was at one of my favorite local coffee places, minding my own business, drinking iced tea (because it was actually warm out and an iced drink seemed perfect), and grading a stack of about a bajillion papers. there should have been no doubt that i wanted to be left alone. i was giving off all the f' off signs. i was wearing headphones, hiding behind my laptop screen, and just generally not giving the "yes i want to have a conversation with you" cues.
this did not stop some random dude from interrupting me. first, he started talking to me...sort of. i suspected he was asking me if someone was sitting on the couch across from me, but he wasn't. when i removed my ear buds i realized that he was just...well...mouthing words. i ignored him and went back to grading, figuring he would notice the laptop and bag of the person who had been sitting on the couch but had temporarily vacated. he did not. he sat down anyway. fantastic.
i falsely assumed that he would leave me alone once he came back with his beverage. instead, he asked me if i thought he should get a hair cut because, and i quote, "you're a woman, right?" (as if it's not obvious that i'm a woman?) i don't know what my sex has to do with me being able to advise a total stranger on his coif, but somehow i looked like i was capable of and willing to give him my opinion. he went on to tell me that he had a job interview to be a truck driver and was worried that his current "look" makes people think that he's a pot-smoker, which incidentally, he no longer is. i was thinking to myself that maybe people think that because of the bohemian type sweater thing he was wearing, his beard that resembled shaggy's from scooby-doo, and the hemp necklace, but what do i know? his lack of employment probably is haircut related. admittedly, it was a bit long...maybe chin length, but seriously, why would i know if this dude would look good with shorter hair? the more he tried to engage me in conversation and the more he failed to notice my subtle and not-so-subtle hints that this engagement was unwelcome, the more i began to realize two things:
1. this guy might be crazy and
2. there's no way i can continue grading at the coffee shop
so, i finally just told him "look man, i have a lot of grading to do. but good luck with the job interview tomorrow."
not really rude, if i might say, and yet he was very annoyed that i was leaving. so, perhaps the reason this dude won't get a job is because he's an idiot who has no social graces. lucky for him, i'm not sure how much human interaction you have to do when driving the big rigs. hopefully he'll pick up on the interaction cues related to CB communication.
10-4 good buddy. leave me alone. :D
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2 comments:
I think your problem is one of two things.
1) your f' off vibe emitter is busted, or
2) what you think is actually a f' off vibe emitter is actually a "make a terrible pass at me" vibe emitter.
I think it's option 2. That would explain several encounters you've had over the years.
That pot-smokin'-hazy-eyed-truck-driver-wanna-be-brain-fried-socially-inept loser had better just be glad I wasn't there to go West Texas on his ass.
Maybe I should send you a cardboard cut out of me with a little speaker attached. When losers are sucked in by your mislabelled come hither vibes you can punch a button on the cut out and it'll start swearing at them. That's a signal no one can confuse.
John thinks that had your first interraction with him been something like this it would have gone differently...
Pot smokin' hippy dude: Hey, should I get a hair cut? I mean, you're a woman right?
Dr. Kate: As of recently, yes.
Pot smokin' Willie Nelson wanna-be hippy dude: OKAY. I gotta go...
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