as the title of this post makes clear, i'm reading the book eat, pray, love by elizabeth gilbert. though the book was published a few years ago, i'm just getting around to reading it now, and i have to say that i think the timing is pretty perfect. a friend of mine recommended it last summer, but i'm not sure i was in a place where i could have really appreciated the message the author is conveying. (plus i might have been downright pissed that i could go on a one-year trip around the world to get over my relationship woes.) as i read it now though, i find some much that resonates with how i've been feeling lately and the complicated path it is to move past a broken heart. maybe i should come up with some sort of 3 part january term course to italy, india, and indonesia? :)
anyway, when bits have been particulary pertinent or inspiring, i've dog-eared the page so i can come back to them. here is one i want to share.
"most of us, even if only for two minutes in our lives, have experienced at some time or another an inexplicable and random sense of complete bliss, unrelated to anything that was happening in the outside world. one instant, you're just a regular joe, schlepping through your mundane life, and then suddenly what is this?--nothing has changed, yet you feel stirred by grace, swollen with wonder, overflowing with bliss. everything for no reason whatsoever--is perfect." (197)
i have had these moments in my life...where the sun is reflecting off the buildings in dubuque in this gorgeous golden light or the moon shines heavy, full, and red in the sky...where despite all the things i find myself worrying about, for that moment all i care about is the beauty of it all and the blessings in my life. lately, beyond those random moments that make my heart pound with a little more life than it does during the mundane times, i find myself feeling happy for specific reasons. students sometimes make me want to punch them in the face, but i love my job. the debts i have sometimes stress me out, but i see a path out of them. my apartment might seem empty without a companion (pet or otherwise), but i love it. i might need to slim down in order to be happier with myself, but i have this renewed sense of self-confidence about kate than i've had in a while. (last summer was rough.) dubuque might be cold in the winter, but it's been lovely in the spring and summer (and we have the best sweet corn in the state.) there are many people that i miss and want to see more, while being blessed with new friendships. at this point in my life, i'm so happy to report, things are going well...and given the year i've had, i feel like this is big news.
this leads me to another part of the book that i really like and thus dog-earred:
"there is so much about my fate that i cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. there are certain lottery tickets i can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. i can decide how i spend my time, whom i interact with, who i share my body and life and money and energy with. i can select what i eat and read and study. i can choose how i'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life--whether i will see them as curses or opportunities (and on occasions when i can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because i'm feeling too damn sorry for myself, i can choose to keep trying to change my outlook.) i can choose my words and the tone of voice in which i speak to others. and most of all, i can choose my thoughts." (177)
so this quote could lead you to believe that i'm ignoring the sociology in my life, and trust me, that's impossible. (it might also be a bit corny, but i don't care.) i feel like this quote in particular talks about the agency that we all have in how we deal with the social forces and life events that come to be in our lives. i could choose to let bitterness and frustration rule my mind, and undoubtedly that attitude would then impact all kinds of other things. but instead, i haven't done that. i've been determined to be positive despite all shit this year, and it's nice to know that i'm in a better place than i might have been without my "foolish" optimism. (i also think this quote could be handy to paraphrase on syllabi for the fall.) :)
anyway, this is probably a lot of rambling just to say...kate is happy. :D hope you all are as well.
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