night of the comet

so i went to an ABQ mall today and i have to say it was weird. i don't know if this mall is going out of business OR if its just starting (i think its the first one), but there were literally 4 stores open in the whole place. everything else was closed and there were hardly any people shopping (which makes sense). as i walked from the men's dillards to the women's dillards, i giggled a little, because it seemed like we could have easily been in a zombie movie of some sort. i was shopping with the only survivors of some comet hitting NM and didn't realize that the mall was closed and so empty for that reason. :) anyway, i got what i needed and didn't have to utilize any zombie attack skills.

congratulate me...

because i got my aggie ring today! WHOOP!!!!!because i got my aggie ring today! WHOOP!!!!!

little kate sunshine

so don't read this post if you want to know nothing about the movie little miss sunshine. i'm pretty sure that what i reveal about the movie won't ruin it, but sometimes people get uptight about having any prior movie knowledge (jeremy). i went to see it yesterday and found it especially relevant to how i'm feeling right now. so read on if you dare. (by the way...this movie is great. highly recommended.)

so, one of the main characters in this movie is olive. she's like 7 or something and gets the opportunity to be a participant in a beauty pageant in california called "little miss sunshine." it is probably an understatement to say that olive is a bit weird (as is her family) and that she is not what you'd consider a typical beauty pageant type. when she gets to the competition, she sees other 7 year olds getting air-brushed tans with lots of make-up, huge hair, remarkable talents, and fancy costumes. they are scarily skinny and made-up to the point of creepy. olive has none of this. she's just herself. she has her own style and her own costumes, but they are not on par with her competition. she is full of hope, but vastly underprepared for this competition. she is herself, but to a fault in this case.

so what does this have to do with me? i'm not 7 (by a long shot!), nor a beauty queen hopeful. as i watched olive eye her competitors, i could totally relate. my vita, my cover letters, my writing samples, my statements of research and teaching are definitely works in progress. my dissertation is not done. i have one publication. i have few awards and accolades. i feel like olive. i feel like i showed up at the competition without my evening gown or make-up or big hair. i can get ready and plan to bust my ass to get this stuff in top shape to send out by FRIDAY for a few of the jobs. but i can't shake the idea that my competitors are light-years ahead of me in this process.

the lesson i can take from olive. go for it. try anyway. put it out there and see what happens. because in the end, it will all be okay no matter what. in one scenario, i get a new job that i hopefully like doing what i've been preparing to do for like 6 years. in the other, i get to stay in ABQ for a while, get more prepared, and hang out in a place that i love with great friends. so...i should probably chill a bit and just keep practicing. :) like olive did.

um...yeah....hmmm

so, this week has been unexpectedly confusing after a really fun weekend. i emailed my committee chair on tuesday about applying for a fellowship that would basically pay me to write my dissertation. he told me i should "go for it," but then yesterday wrote that i should apply for some of the many jobs that are currently being advertised right now. the basic idea is: hurry up and collect data and then get crackin' with job applications. i have resisted the idea of graduating in 2007 for a while now. i have a lot to do with the dissertation, i only have one publication, and i'm just not quite sure where i want to be. add to that the simple fact that i feel like i just moved here and i'm not sure i'm ready to think about leaving ABQ yet.

and yet....i'm thinking about sending out some applications anyway. as my chair says, there are a lot of jobs now and you should apply when there are a lot of jobs. AND some of the jobs are considering ABD candidates. AND i'm not that happy with my current job and after ASA felt antzy to be back in the sociological world.

i've found a lot of people to write me letters of recommendation and serve as references. i'm going to work on my vita and teaching philosophy and cover letter this weekend. i'll attempt to translate the weird sheets that came with my teaching evaluations in order to demonstrate my teaching excellence. i was also told that i should have a couple of chapters of my dissertation to submit which i don't really have now. any thoughts on that colleagues? and i'll figure out where i might want to move if i am somehow offered a job next august. i have some places in mind and will have to see what's out there.

so..this is all very crazy. and i figure that i'll know more about what to do when stuff starts happening. its very possible that i won't get any offers right now. you never can tell.