searching for appropriate song lyrics

so, i spend a lot of my day at work entering data and listening to my iPod (which is my tactic for blocking out all the background noise and chatter that is inherent to cubicle life.) i have a boat load of really good music on there and i've been keeping my ears open for an appropriate lyric that would sum up how i'm feeling about stuff right now. i thought for sure that deathcab for cutie or the postal service or blue october or keane would come through for me....but so far i haven't heard the quintessential collection of words that describe kate's feelings in late august. the closest i've come is a line from a zero 7 song (Garden State soundtrack...check it out). "wasting my time....waiting in line..." i do feel like there's a lot of waiting going on, but i'm not convinced my time is being wasted in all areas of my life. so...close, but not quite it. or there's the shins (same soundtrack): "i'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find." this is a bit more negative and pessimistic than i feel right now, so again....not really it.

this one from bonnie somerville is closer: "
And it's a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
I still don't know
Where it goes
And it's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
I still have hope
I'm gonna find my way home

so why is this one closest to the feelings i've had? because it captures the frustration of waiting for dreams to be realized and the cautious optimism that its not too late, despite the "long time" of walking and searching. and that's kind of where i'm at right now as another school year starts and i find myself walking and searching and waiting. for example, i'm waiting for some tangible results from the amped up work-outs i've been doing at the gym. i'm searching for a job that makes me really happy AND gives me benefits and a decent salary...a salary that actually rewards me for the experience and education that i bring to it. there are other relevant examples that i could write about, but i think the point is made. and its not that i'm unhappy about my life. indeed i have so much to be grateful for...great friends, cooler fall temps, a nice apartment that is almost up to par, a wonderful family (who i miss and don't see enough), my health, etc. lots of good stuff for sure. so that should probably be enough right? and yet, i'm still tryng to find my way home...which to me means getting, well...the total package. it seems like i'm constantly getting part of the package...but not all at once. and maybe its possible that i'm glorifying the idea of the total package. its my interpretation of what's going on for other people in my world. i don't know. but i'm optimistic...cautiously...that it will come together. hopefully sooner than later.

in other news, i start teaching for the fall on saturday. i think it will be fun and the small classes will be great. BUT i'm not really looking forward to a 6 day work week. here's hoping the extra money leads to less debts. :)

finally...a cool quote that popped up on my google homepage:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss

this seemed especially relevant with all the crazy shit going on at work lately. more on that later. thanks to those of you who matter so much to me and don't mind who i am. boo-ya!