it's official

so this is the first time in 5 years that my car insurance, driver's licence, and license plates are all in the same state. i would say that means new mexico is definitely my new stomping ground...for a while anyway. :)

searching for appropriate song lyrics

so, i spend a lot of my day at work entering data and listening to my iPod (which is my tactic for blocking out all the background noise and chatter that is inherent to cubicle life.) i have a boat load of really good music on there and i've been keeping my ears open for an appropriate lyric that would sum up how i'm feeling about stuff right now. i thought for sure that deathcab for cutie or the postal service or blue october or keane would come through for me....but so far i haven't heard the quintessential collection of words that describe kate's feelings in late august. the closest i've come is a line from a zero 7 song (Garden State soundtrack...check it out). "wasting my time....waiting in line..." i do feel like there's a lot of waiting going on, but i'm not convinced my time is being wasted in all areas of my life. so...close, but not quite it. or there's the shins (same soundtrack): "i'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find." this is a bit more negative and pessimistic than i feel right now, so again....not really it.

this one from bonnie somerville is closer: "
And it's a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
I still don't know
Where it goes
And it's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
I still have hope
I'm gonna find my way home

so why is this one closest to the feelings i've had? because it captures the frustration of waiting for dreams to be realized and the cautious optimism that its not too late, despite the "long time" of walking and searching. and that's kind of where i'm at right now as another school year starts and i find myself walking and searching and waiting. for example, i'm waiting for some tangible results from the amped up work-outs i've been doing at the gym. i'm searching for a job that makes me really happy AND gives me benefits and a decent salary...a salary that actually rewards me for the experience and education that i bring to it. there are other relevant examples that i could write about, but i think the point is made. and its not that i'm unhappy about my life. indeed i have so much to be grateful for...great friends, cooler fall temps, a nice apartment that is almost up to par, a wonderful family (who i miss and don't see enough), my health, etc. lots of good stuff for sure. so that should probably be enough right? and yet, i'm still tryng to find my way home...which to me means getting, well...the total package. it seems like i'm constantly getting part of the package...but not all at once. and maybe its possible that i'm glorifying the idea of the total package. its my interpretation of what's going on for other people in my world. i don't know. but i'm optimistic...cautiously...that it will come together. hopefully sooner than later.

in other news, i start teaching for the fall on saturday. i think it will be fun and the small classes will be great. BUT i'm not really looking forward to a 6 day work week. here's hoping the extra money leads to less debts. :)

finally...a cool quote that popped up on my google homepage:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss

this seemed especially relevant with all the crazy shit going on at work lately. more on that later. thanks to those of you who matter so much to me and don't mind who i am. boo-ya!

au revoir montreal

i had the good fortune to travel to the American Sociological Association's annual meeting in Montreal, Canada last weekend. i wasn't looking forward to the trip really, but it turned out to be a great weekend. montreal is beautiful (i'll post pictures later). everything is in french, but most everyone speaks english too. there are awesome outdoor markets, pedestrian areas, flowers, old buildings, great coffee (tim horton's rocks my ass off), friendly people (including men who hit on lindsay and me since i was there), delicious ethnic food, good wine (and sangria), and just an overall good feel. my friend warren and i stumbled upon an art expo that was going on near the waterfront, which was a great surprise. the conference was great too. though my presentation could have gone better, it was good to be in the presence of other sociologists. it was very motivating. (if only work didn't totally drain me...which is weird since its mostly busy, crap work that requires little to no-brain power). plenty of texas a&m colleagues were there too, which was fantastic. it was great to catch up with friends and to talk about how things are going with faculty. gives me some perspective on what's going on here in abq right now. overall, it was a great trip...and i didn't even have to throw all my toiletries away...just one thing of lotion on the way back. :) so, i would definitely go back to montreal...it was really a beautiful city and i'm glad i had the opportunity to check it out.

au revoir!

(self-preservation tactic because i don't know my readership)

i'm not going to bitch about my new job right now...though it's tempting. instead, i will say this. i really miss advising. i've heard rumors that my job will eventually involve advising...but for now it doesn't. and i miss it. i miss it even more after looking at the TAMU website and seeing a couple of full-time advisor positions. don't get me wrong...i like ABQ. but i'm frustrated to be away from a school that i know and a system i understand. and i miss working with students. i'm tired of hearing about advising and being trained on how to do it. i already know. and i want to do just that. so...hopefully my job will incorporate more of that and less data entry. and if it doesn't...then i have some things to ponder i think. (don't worry...not going anywhere yet. and not leaving ABQ yet....just pondering).

giving myself a break

so, part of why i'm hesitant to go to the conference on thursday is because the paper i'm presenting based on my dissertation stuff is just not ready. i had to revamp my questions and only just recently started doing interviews again. and i haven't really transcribed stuff from before. i started doing it today, thinking i could just find bits and pieces that would work...but it takes a long time. maybe because i'm trying to do it amidst distractions at work...but more likely because it just takes a long time. so, after thinking about it and getting some helpful feedback from a fellow ph.d. student, i've decided to withdraw the paper. i think this is the right decision for a few reasons. 1. i have no time and don't want to slapdick this together. 2. since it's my dissertation stuff, it really needs to be done right, and not done fast. 3. i can submit it next year for the conference when its NYC and by then, it will be in much better and coherent shape. 4. i'm still presenting another paper and presiding over a session...so i have plenty to do at the conference. i feel good about it...it has taken off some stress for sure. now i can focus on one paper and getting it ready to go. yippie skippy...instant headache relief!

viva las vegas

great weekend with mike in vegas. its august which means that it was the annual defcon conference. this year i actually understood the two presentations we went to (more or less), so that was an added bonus. overall it was a great weekend and it went way, way too fast. way. on friday, we ate good italian food, saw the fountains at the bellagio (FANTASTIC!), walked around a bit, and then chilled at caesar's. saturday we got up a little late and went to the conference for a while. got an early dinner at todai and went back to the conference for a while. lots of chillin' on satuday night though there were intentions of going out. sleepiness got the best of us...especially me. sunday was great...more sleeping in, lunch at In-N-Out Burger (which is the best food on earth!), and then lots of Keno playing and margarita drinking. it's safe to say that i was quite loopy by the time we got to the airport. and quite sad to say bye to vegas. there are lots of details that i'm leaving out ("did you fart?"...."no, he beeped"), but my brains are tired at the moment.

in other news, i'm preparing to leave yet again to go to montreal for a sociology conference. i don't really want to go and i have a feeling that that mostly has to do with my slacking on getting my papers ready. the thought of backing out on one of them has crossed my mind, but i think i can figure it out still. at least i'm consistently a procrastinator. it will be fun to catch up with aggie friends. AND it will be great to take a few days off from work. more on that later.

bring on the evening

i think its safe to say that i was draggin' ass all day today. had a headache, didn't feel great, didn't have time to get coffee (*gasp*). just didn't feel great. that is...until the work day ended. then i had a fantastic interview for my dissertation and got to have dinner with a great friend out here. it's somewhat amazing, and potentially concerning, how energized i felt once i left my cubey and did some purely kate stuff. i felt super motivated after the interview and had some revitalization for making progress toward data collection. and dinner was just fun and relaxing and tasty and stuff. it made me thankful that i've met such fun people here in the land of enchantment. i think for a while (i.e.- pre-job security) i was holding back in terms of getting to really know my friends out here. after two nights of fun friend time, its nice to know that trend is reversed. and because i don't want to leave anyone out, i'll take a moment to say that i love all my crazy friends spread out around the country and the globe. so...i ended up with a good day despite a lackluster 8-hour start. :)