2008 is just around the corner

i'm back in my apartment after a great time at my parent's house for christmas. it was really nice to catch up with family and to indulge in a lot of really delicious food. won't be waiting for new year's resolutions to get back to the gym. :) i'm also happy that i was able to celebrate a few of my favorite holiday traditions: eating at red lobster with dennis, watching a christmas story with my parents and aunt deb and uncle jon (after going to mass and being grateful for not being in the "party room"), and eating a fantastic cheese ball and singing along to Holiday Inn with dennis and my parents. after a lot of fun, it is nice to be back home. i'm wrapping up my time at the retail gig which is wonderful and will have plenty of time to plan for next semester, pack my apartment again, and just be.

i'm going to be moving during the month of january into new digs that are closer to work and less expensive. and i predict many good times will be had with my new roommates. i'm excited to make them dinner and see how the dynamic is tomorrow night. i have to admit that many nights when going to bed at mom and dad's my thoughts were on moving out of my current apartment, and the thought of it made me a bit sad. granted, i won't miss the stupid mouse infestation that seems to be never-ended or the HUGE utility bill that i have for the month. but this place is really my dream apartment. i know i'm making a great decision about moving and i'm excited about it, but it will be sad to leave at the same time. i think for the first time in a long time, i lived in a place that really felt like home...my home. so part of me really doesn't want to go. but the rest of me is anxious to pack up and get rid of stuff again (anyone want to buy a couch?) and try something new.

hopefully there will be much clarity in the new year about a few things. :) i can't believe how fast 2007 went. seriously...it's almost over! how did that happen?

oh yeah...it's snowing again. :P

found!!

so last march-ish, i lost my aggie ring. i wasn't even sure when i lost it, in terms of the exact moment it was missing, though i did have a time frame. i was hopeful that when i packed up all my worldly possessions to move to iowa it would be discovered, but no such luck. it's been in the back of my mind since it went missing and i've remained ever hopeful that i would just come across it in some random box or something. (or that mike would find it at his house if/when he moves.) i even made one last ditch search for it before graduation last weekend (which i still have to blog about.)

earlier this week one of my pilot pens fell between my car seat and the console. it was bugging me that it was down there, because i was worried the cold temps would make it crack open and spill black ink everywhere. so after picking up some stuff from wal-greens on the way out of town on thursday, i made it my mission to get that pen out of there. it was nicely wedged between wacky seat parts and i ended up getting out of my seat and moving it forward in an attempt to free it from tangles of spiraled wire and just...stuff. at some point in the battle i looked down in to the seat crevasse and saw a gold crest shining back up at me. i instantly knew what it was, but that did not stop me from literally shrieking with joy! i've probably looked in my car 50 times for it, and then, 9 months later, there it is. maybe it was waiting for me to finally finish my degree to reveal itself.

that was a great way to start my christmas holiday. it feels great to have it back on my finger where it belongs! :)

liquid streets

tonight has been a fun night despite the very cold and snowy/icy/sleety whether that preceded it. i met my friend brad at his office which is about two blocks from my house so we could go have a few beers and a little food. you'd think that in two blocks i could manage to keep myself warm and not covered in snow and, well, dampness. (i hate the word damp...sorry for that.) that was not the case. after going down my front steps which were mysteriously shoveled off (thanks for that!) i saw some footsteps in the snowbank next to the street. "walk in the footsteps and you'll be fine" i thought to myself. and fine i was...until that last step which was unexpectedly deep. up to my knee deep. not a good start. already wish my new boots were here. i slip and slide across the slushy street and have quite a big slip on the sidewalk once i get to it, but manage to not fall down. just a little snow to brush off my jeans...nothing to worry about. then...it happened. liquid street. i see a slushy puddle and decide to just lightly leap through it. it was not a puddle. it was more like a small slushy lake. and the more i leaped (leapt?) the more icy slush went in my shoes and up my pant legs. after traversing slushy lake, i get across the street and seriously wonder if i should wring out my socks before going into brad's office. i decided against it though i did take one shoe off to see if water would flow out of it. (it didn't...it was thoroughly soaked into the shoe. lucky for me and my feet, brad drove us to the restaurant and we had a really fun time chatting and drinking beer. so fun i didn't even think about my frozen feet until i got back home. first thing on my agenda was taking off those shoes and changing my socks. all is good now. :D

actually...might need my slippers too. "D

snow

it's snowing more. booo!!

i get to graduate in a week where it's warm. sa-weet!

i discovered that delicious sushi exists in dubuque, iowa tonight. i got to enjoy it with a new friend and great conversation. just what i needed.

now, hopefully the snow will stop.

hooray!

some of you are getting this in the mail, but due to limited resources i couldn't send them out to everyone. :) i'm excited to be participating in the ceremony next weekend. it will be nice to commemorate my work as a graduate student by walking across that stage and getting hooded. :) and i get to see friends and family and enjoy warm texas weather!

gifts of cash and beer will be accepted (especially cash...hee hee!) i thought about registering for this event, but decided against it. :D

thanks friends for all of your support and guidance through this process. very much appreciated!!

hugs,
dr. kate

crabby day

do you ever have a crabby day for no specific reason? nothing really happened today to make me crabby. in fact, it was a pretty laid-back day in general. it mostly involved cleaning, grading, and watching tv. nothing to complain about. and yet, i'm in a mood. maybe it's a sign that i have too much on my mind. or that i'm worried about money, as seems to be a constant. or could be just missing people. hard to tell. whatever the deal is, i think i'm going to eat a snack, finish my graduation announcements, and go to bed.

oh the weather outside is friggin' frightful

today iowa was graced with snow, ice, sleet, and rain. in fact, it was precipitating from 10:00 a.m. until right now. this has caused big trouble for some in the midwest. fortunately, dubuque was not hit as hard as other communities. the roads were a mess i headed to work and were somewhat better by the time i left. if it gets colder though, i am guessing it will get very, very icy. lucky for me i don't have to go anywhere tomorrow. the plan is a lot of grading and cleaning. (gotta say i'd rather be where mike is about now.)

surprisingly, there were a lot of people out and about tonight. maybe i was in the south and southwest too long, but had i not been scheduled to work, i would have stayed on the couch. (i don't know if i mentioned it before, but i'm working part-time in retail again.) the store i'm at (subtle hint...the same one i was working at in the summer>) is certainly not one that i would consider an essential destination on a day like today. and yet, we actually did have customers. the road are shitty, the parking lot is worse, it was raining and cold, but still people needed to buy air freshner and christmas ornaments?! it baffles me. there is nothing...seriously nothing, that people would need to buy today. people are weird.

my real job is also going pretty well. we have two weeks left for the semester, which is great. i'm looking forward to some down town. feel like i need a break and have a lot to figure out as of late.

i meant to write after thanksgiving, but got too busy. it was good to see my family, if not a bit stressful. hopefully christmas will be less tense. :D

okay, more later.

so i finally got around to...

watching the movie crash. all of america has seen it except for me. honestly, i was avoiding it, because america was so enamored with a movie that had race and racism as a major plot point. as a race scholar, this was and is concerning.

to my surprise, it didn't make me as angry as i expected it would. it played up some stereotpes and in the end, every character is kind of an a-hole and kind of an okay person at the same time. i suppose that is what people liked about the flick. and they way the various stories intertwined was interesting enough that i want to watch it again just to see what i missed.

predictably though, the movie focused almost entirely on individual level racism and did not really address more institutional or systemic issues. there was a bit of discussion about it from a few of the people of color in the movie, but in the end, the moral seemed to be that fixing the problem one jerky individual at a time will do the trick. even reviewers on IMDB make this conclusion. there wasn't much discussion about the history of racism in our country or how that history has privileged whites above others.

i'm left wondering a bit what all the hype was about.

congratualations

Kathrin,

All of your manuscript corrections are done and forms received. You are cleared by the Thesis Office. Congratulations and our best to you.

Thesis Office


:)

Woo hoo!

submitted again...

today i submitted my dissertation to the thesis office hopefully for the last time. i finished the corrections they asked me to do and now in 3-6 days i'll find out if i'm really done. then all i have to do is pay my bill to the university and i'll be able to get my diploma in december. (so if you wanted to give me a gift for graduation [no obligation of course] i would gladly accept cash to put towards that bill. *grin*)

unbelievably it's also the middle of november. that means that thanksgiving is next week. i'm excited about it, though it seems impossible that it's already next week. this semester has flown by! before i know it, i'll be giving finals! better get back to work on the grading then. :)

pooped

after a great weekend, i'm sitting here on my couch feeling very tired. mike was here in iowa since thursday night and we packed a lot of fun into a short amount of time. he got to meet a bunch of my friends, we ate a lot of good food, i showed him more of the sites in dubuque, we had some adult beverages (including cave-ins at the mining company) and spent some time in the car going back and forth from milwaukee. all-in-all it was a fantastic weekend (though i realize my description of it is not all that enthralling...need sleep.) gotta say that having him here makes life so much more fun. here's hoping some job options come together, so we can be together again soon. cross your fingers for us.

it's already november

this semester has flown by and even though there aren't that many weeks of classes left before the end of the semester, there is still SO much to do. i'm perpetually trying to catch up on grading and haven't even started planning classes for next semester yet. luckily, i don't have to worry about too much dissertation stuff. i got my corrections and have a few weeks to get those finished. none of it is too scary though i have a feeling formatting figures is going to piss me right off. anyway, i'm a little stressed...not overly so, but enough that i've been kind of tired and cranky this week. i also started working a second job this week. back in retail for 10 hours a week. i didn't expect to need to do that, but it's become a necessity and i figured it would be a good way to meet more people and get out of my apartment, while earning some extra cash.

it's been a weird week in terms of my job satisfaction as a faculty member. maybe it's the stress of grading and stuff, or the lack of enthusiasm from my intro class lately, or my paycheck, or the feeling of "been there, done that" i have at times on campus. maybe it's that i miss mike. i don't know. i guess i thought i'd be happier in this role than i am finding myself. maybe once i get a semester under my belt i'll feel more settled in. but this week has been very blah and makes me wonder if this is my calling. i love teaching and look forward to advising sometime soon. but the tedium that i have to deal with at times in terms of planning courses and strategic plans for the college or figuring out a course rotation is frustrating at times. all part of the gig i know, but geez. i'm guessing my attitude about it all would be better if i got more sleep. so i'm going to work on that now and stop complaining...because there are PLENTY of good things about my job too and things i like a lot. patience is what i need i think. if you have any to spare, send some my way. :)

pretty sunshine time

when i was in college, one of my favorite things was watching the golden-pinkish glow that would settle around campus around 6 p.m. in the fall. today took me back to that. as i left my office, the sun was sinking in the sky, casting a beautiful light over campus. i knew if i had left maybe 10 minutes earlier, the cross on top of hoffman hall would be glimmering against the sky. i made my turn away from campus in time to see a full moon hanging over the mississippi river and the changing trees. this is probably a bit schmaltzy, but it really is a wonderful sight. and it brings a sense of peace somehow. come see it tomorrow. okay. :D

similutaneous relief and annoyance

today was a great day. it was the day that i converted my dissertation from a word document to a PDF file and submitted it to the thesis office. fortunately my committee did not want me to make any major changes to the beast before i submitted it, so all i had to do was proofread and format. that process is WAY more complicated than it needs to be, especially when Word inexplicably decides to change the formatting of your page numbers and you have to swear and yell at it and pound the keys before figuring out how to fix it. regardless, after working hard this week i finally got all my i's dotted and t's crossed. my hope is that once the incredibly anal-retentive thesis people nitpick the crap out of it that there won't be much more to do (though i realize that this is extremely naive of me.) in any case, it feels more official now that it has been submitted to the thesis office. like i really am almost done.

so why would i be annoyed? because as soon as i submitted the diss, i got an email from the thesis office saying that they received it (woo hoo!), that i'm number 236 on their list (okay...whatever), and that i will be billed a ONE-HUNDRED-AND-FIFTY-FIVE-DOLLAR processing fee. okay, okay...i should have known this was coming since i did have to turn in my thesis to them 4 years ago or whatever, but it still came as a shock. sure, peoples' salaries probably get paid from that money, which is a good thing, but damn! just when i thought i was done giving my money to the university they find one more way to nickel and dime me. for those keeping track at home, that means just to graduate i had to pay tuition this semester, pay a graduation fee, pay for regalia rental, and pay this stupid ass processing fee. AND i also have the option of paying $95.00 so that my copyrighted dissertation would be widely available for people's use. (if i don't pay that then people would have to pay to use it, which is weird...) so anyway, it caught me off guard a bit.

on a happier note, i'm finding myself feeling randomly nostalgic and just kind of satisfied. though i didn't write extensive acknowledgments in the dissertation (because let's face it, i just wanted to be done writing...not because i don't appreciate all ya'll) i have been feeling very grateful for the many wonderful friends in my life and for my great family. and now that i can put my mind on something else for a while, it goes to you. :) thanks friends for all that you've done to support and encourage me. i truly could not have gotten this far without you.

now to get to a GIANT stack of grading that i've been putting off. no rest for the weary.

two big weekends

a little over a week ago, i successfully defended my dissertation. the process was a bit grueling emotionally, but all in all went really well. it involved about an hour and 45 minutes of questions, which were mostly humane. :) at the end though, i was called dr. by my chair, so it was official. :) the rest of the weekend was great! i finally got to see mike for the first time since i moved, i got to have dinner with friends, plenty of drinks and fun, saw part of an aggie game, ate way too much, and just had a really fantastic celebration! now i'm in the process of correcting formatting and typos. have to finish that by friday so i can graduate in december. :) then i think it will feel official, even though i'm basically done now.

this weekend i spent time with some of my closest friends. it was homecoming at our alma mater, so we all got together for the first time since i've moved back. we had a lot of fun and it was great to share my new life at our school with them. it was a bit overwhelming seeing so many people that we knew from our college days though. i had fun catching up with people, but there were a lot of people that i recognized but couldn't place a name with their faces. it was a little crazy after a while and having one brief conversation after another was more draining than i expected. the weekend was a good combination of getting to relax and just chill and being active and doing stuff. now that all the guests are gone and i'm done cleaning up, i feel like i should go to bed. :)

so, i know i was overdue for an update on the defense and this post is not very profound and deep. but, that's the basic scoop. it's all good.

on the verge...

tomorrow i defend my dissertation, which will hopefully result in only a few minor steps for me to complete so that i can finally be finished with my Ph.D. i'm a little nervous about it, but feeling confident. mostly i just want to get it over with. rip the band-aid off and be done.

having said that, it is a bit surreal that this is already happening. i've been working on this for what seems like forever, and now i'm almost done. i know i'll be able to fill the time and mental space with something else, but it's almost incomprehensible that i won't have this on my plate anymore. i just can't imagine the relief, though i'm anxious to feel it. :)

i know that i won't be done even if the defense goes well tomorrow. i have to format the beast for the thesis office and do a real proofread since i haven't yet. but hopefully that will be all. maybe other corrections can wait until i try to publish it. so i'll still have some work to do, but will also have a tremendous weight off my shoulders. this could the first time in a long time when my shoulders actually have reason to relax. as my closest friends (and my yoga instructors) will tell you, that's where i keep all my stress. so relaxed shoulders...that could be the real mark that i'm done. :)

anywho, much excitement is in the air right now. once this is done, it also opens up a world of fun. i get to have a great time in texas and FINALLY get to see mike after two very long months AND i get to catch up with the aggie friends that are still around. then next weekend is homecoming and i get to catch up with friends from undergrad. and the next weekend i have yet another trip! so lots of fun coming after what feels like many months of stress.

here's hoping that when i next post, i am just a few grammatical errors away from being dr. parks.

welcome fall!

my favorite season has officially started and the weather is actually cooperating. the temperature variations has been a little wacky in the last few weeks. it was pretty cold for this time a year a few weeks ago and then before we knew it, it was like summer again. now, happily, it is staying in the high 60s/low 70s, which i think is perfect. (especially when teaching in rooms without air conditioning.) a few of the trees have more colorful leaves and i can't wait until the reds, golds, and oranges of autumn are in full force. i really love everything about this time of year. the clothes, the weather, the sights, the flavors (like pumpkin spiced things and caramel apple creations), and the events (like college football.) and it means that it's almost thanksgiving. though i do not buy into the mythical beginnings of this holiday, it is my favorite. excellent food, fun memories, and was the beginning of a very important relationship for me. :) i'm happy that fall is here, and that i get to enjoy it in the midwest, where (and i might be a bit biased) it is the most beautiful place to experience it.)

in other news, i have turned in version of two of my dissertation, which will hopefully be very close to the final draft. all the committee members have it in hand (or in email as the case may be) and the defense is next friday. i know there will be things i have to change after that...because i haven't done a great job with proofreading yet. i tend to be somewhat meticulous as i write, but i'm sure there are errors to fix and i just have to muster up the will to read the whole thing again. AND i have to get the formatting and stuff correct for the thesis office. but, i'm really hoping that for the most part, i will be done soon. maybe i can actually get caught up on grading and be an organized teacher who is not constantly flying by the seat of her pants?!

tomorrow i'm riding with my parents to st. louis to meet my new niece. can't wait to meet her and see the family for the weekend. wooo!

"We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to." -- W. Somerset Maugham

i found this quote a while ago and tucked it away in my gmail for a future post. and though the author of the quote probably meant it in a different way that i'm interpreting it, still it could not be more relevant to my life at the moment. i find myself fantasizing about the day when i can write because i want to. but for now, my existence revolves around writing because i have to. it has been extremely difficult to find motivation to get all my dissertation corrections done. i am grateful that my chair got feedback to me at the speed of light and that i gave myself a few extra days to finish before sending it to my committee (the original goal was today, but it's going to be more like sunday morning.) that will give them a little under two weeks to read it before the defense. in the mean time though, i've been trying to write. forcing myself to write. and i have to say...it's difficult. first because i should have been writing every day just to stay in the practice of being able to articulate my thoughts. i feel like i'm at a 3rd grade level right now. "racism is bad." secondly, i'm just not sure how to incorporate some of the things i've been asked to do. in an attempt to accomplish some of them, i'm re-writing my introduction. but that is a formidable task because of the aforementioned lack of writing skills. and apparently i have no attention span right now, so that also doesn't help. regardless, i have to get this done. mostly because i think the relief that i will feel once i've jumped through all necessary hoops is going to be tremendous. i'm not even thinking about how cool it will be to have accomplished this. i'm mostly just thinking about how i want to get this over with! so, i'm going to hope that i can finish this up soon and overcome the mental blocks i seem to be having.

in other news, i'm happy to report that the newest member of my family is going to be arriving from Russia next weekend. i'm very excited that i'll be able to meet my niece Cami in a week. i'll post a picture of her because she's so dang cute. :) it has been a long process for my brother and sister-in-law, so i have no doubt that they are thrilled to have their daughter at last!

lots of fun and trips coming up which is great. really looking forward to seeing mike in october, both because i miss him AND because that will mean that i have hopefully successfully defended my dissertation AND i haven't seen him since i moved here. that has not been easy. so can't wait for that weekend!

anyway, i should get back to work. laters!

a good dissertation is a done dissertation

in college, i was known by my friends as being amazing at pulling quality papers out of my ass at the last minute. you see dear friends...i am a procrastinator. apparently it's how i function. it certainly was in college and continues to be now.

case in point is that i managed to put together my dissertation in about 5 days of writing. of course, that is only partly true, since i spent the last 6 months transcribing interviews, which was a big part of the process. and i wrote a proposal about a year and a half ago or something. so, i did not write it from scratch in a short time, but i did put together a decent first draft of the beast over the last week or so.

i turned it in today via email and our WONDERFUL department assistant, meeting my deadline line and knowing that i will have more work to do. (my conclusion is only 5 pages right now which is not cool.) but i did turn in something like 220 pages (give-take) of a product that i think is pretty dang good. hopefully it will be good enough that i won't have to make too many changes before and after the defense (october 5th!!!) i would even like it if it was good enough to become a book relatively soon.

so, thanks for all your thoughts and encouragement and prayers. i pulled it off...at least the first draft. now i have to get used to having some time off from it for a few days. gotta get my teach on.

but first...kate needs sleep.

:D

brains...hurt

i woke up today both feeling well rested and having a nasty headache. luckily it's finally going away now, but that was a bit odd. i'm chalking it up to stress. i have about a week to get my dissertation draft put together and i'm a bit freaked out. the good news is that my classes should be pretty low key for the rest of the week and a colleague might be able to cover my class on monday so that can be a work day. so i'm confident that i can get a lot done in a short amount of time. it's one of those crazy special skills that i have. in college i was the master at whipping together papers at the last minute. so here's hoping that panic does not cripple that special ability. :)

in other news, i REALLY REALLY need to start going to the gym again. it's hard to make time for it right now when i have this huge hurdle to overcome, but i'm feeling kind of gross and flabby. i'm hopeful that i can get back on track and actually lose some weight! damn those pants that i keep moving. here they are in iowa and not fitting me yet. :P so, though i feel like i can't spare a half hour to go jogging, i should anyway. i'm betting it would be a good stress reliever and boost my body image, which can't hurt.

alright...back to it.