i have no idea what i was going to blog about...

but i won't let that stop me from posting something. i fell out of the practice of blogging for a while and would like to change that. so please tolerate some rambling.

last week was a really busy week for me and i'm finding it a bit difficult to adjust to having less on my plate now. and of course, that's a relative term, since i have plenty of stuff to do before school starts, but my time is mine to use as i please, unlike last week.

fortunately i got to split my time between something that wasn't very fun (research project) and something that was a lot of fun (hanging out with my nephew luke.) luke and i had a great time and managed to do a lot of awesome dubuque stuff in one day. i think we were both wiped out by night time. he was sad to be leaving the next day and honestly, i was sad to let him go. i know he had good times with grandma and grandpa but it was so great seeing the sites with luke and even doing things like making mac-n-cheese with hotdogs and watching how happy he was to get a free birthday sundae at happy joes. gives me hope that eventually i'll be a pretty good mom.

the research project was not as fun, mostly because i didn't get the template for how it needed to be designed until after i had put 18 hours in. that was quite frustrating to say the least.

this week i'm hoping to get some syllabi done and then i'm going to spend some time with dennis and mom and dad this weekend. i'm even planning on making it a long weekend and getting some quality time on mom and dad's deck before heading back to dubuque. (cross your fingers for good deck weather.)

other than that, this summer has gone really fast. i can't believe that i'm going to be heading to ASA in San Francisco next week already. i'm really excited about that trip and in now way ready for it. :D

alright, enough pointless rambling for tonight. i promise to have more intelligible posts next time. maybe. ;)

wrapping up vegas

i am finally getting around to finishing my blog about this trip. (jody just pointed out that we've been home for a week, but it already seems like we were in vegas a long time ago. figure that one out?!)

we woke up late and got ready for breakfast at New York, New York. by the time we got to America (the restaurant...i know Vegas is in America smart-asses) it was 11:30 so we got the modified "you're too late for real breakfast and should be eating lunch" menu, but we still made out pretty well. if memory serves, we did some gambling after this in ny ny and jody got the longest and most amazing bonus game at a monopoly penny slot that i've ever seen. we also kicked off the early afternoon with some vodka cranberries that did not taste like ass (unlike sahara.) i even had a cigar while wasting my pennies away.

eventually, jody and i decided not to waste the beautiful 107 degree temperatures by staying inside (that was sarcasm, people!) so we got ready to go to the pool at the MGM. we got there around 4 which is peak vegas hot-time. needless to say though, it was really relaxing out there, for the most part. towards the end of the first hour there was a flock of drunk loud girls chatting up some dude who was really, really sunburned (we called him sunburned guy) very obnoxiously and non-stop, but it's hard to stay mad when you're enjoying some sun, reading a magazine, and mocking people with an old friend. :)

speaking of mocking people, we saw the tannest white guy ever. he was so tan that i ended up taking a picture of him just to prove to you that he exists. we called him tan man....'cuz damn.

jody left me out there for a while so she could get ready for our evening and i just wasn't ready to leave the pool yet, so i hung out for another hour hoping i could get a little tan (not like the saddlebag over there -------------> ).
mostly i get more freckles in the sun, but whatever, that has to be a step up from pasty white, right? i also was freakin' thirsty out there (107 degrees?! hello!) so i ordered bud lime and got carded. so apparently, even in las vegas i look under 21. thanks mom! :)

eventually i ventured back up to the room and got ready myself. our plan for the night was to go to the MGM buffet and then hit NYNY again for the dueling piano bar. we even got a little dressed up! the buffet was pretty good, though it was not as good as Mandalay Bay (which is the only other good one in Vegas i've been too.) we were on a quest to eat our body weight in crab legs and they had them, but on ice. still good, but not the same. regardless, i managed to eat WAY too much.

after all these desserts we made our way over to the dueling piano bar. i have to say, i'm a BIG dueling piano fan and the times square bar in nyny doesn't disappoint. we had some beers (eventually...i was so full that i had to give it a bit), sang along to a bunch of songs, and even danced a bit. it's even possible that some boys hit on us. always good to have an ego boost! we closed down the bar and then headed back to MGM to get some sleep. i think by the time we were finished chatting (just like high school days) and packing, it was close to 3 a.m. the next morning, we got up, got ready, and packed up the rest of our stuff. jody was my hero and went for a quest for coffee for us. once we were checked out, all that was left to do was wait for our shuttle back to the airport. unfortunately we were in different terminals so jody and i had to say adios at security, but we still mocked people via text. :) then after a very long travel day (which included a 4 hour stop over in denver and a ride back to Dubuque from Madison in a nasty thunderstorm) i made it back home in one piece, having had a really awesome vacation. i'm thinking this is something jody and i should make an annual thing. not vegas necessarily, but somewhere fun. :D

we're freakin' adorable!!!

here are some random shots:

random, tiny closet in my bathroom stall at sahara (of course)

















rod stewart.


okay we didn't really see him. that was on a giant screen while we were waiting to check-in to MGM but it sure looks like he was right there.













Paris!


















i took this picture because the T is in quotation marks. i'm a big fan of inappropriately used quotation marks. nice one, bonanza's.
















our view from the MGM room...and a reflection of my pants apparently. :)















sweet relief. thanks denver airport!

vegas day two

so, day two. i slept in for a while given the lack of sleep from the night before. we got ready and decided to head back to the champagne brunch, because as i realized after some thought...it's sunday! (it's easy to lose track of time when you're tired and in vegas.) though we didn't intend to relive morning one, we sort of did. we checked out of our sahara room, took note of the bread tab thing that was still in the hall, and left our bags with a crabby bell hop so that we could go across the street again to bonanza's. you see, there was this talking stuffed animal parrot that we both fell in love with the day before...mostly because it does a parrot whistle and then says "hey. you. go f--- yourself." (next time you come over i can show you the awesomeness.) we headed back to the sahara and did some gambling on the penny slots, unable to resist the game "dam lumberjack beavers." it's fun. trust me. then after losing money, we retrieved our bags and jumped on the monorail to head to the MGM.


the ride was uneventful, but i think jody and i were grateful to only have to spend $5 to get all the way to the other end of the strip. and luckily it wasn't a long walk to the MGM once we got off the train. (this was good news because our feet were already killing us.) when we got to the registration area, there were long lines every where. we got in line behind the man you see below...i dubbed him "angry man." you see, he was asked by an MGM staff member to inform everyone who got in line behind him that this line would be closing as soon as he was helped. this made him very happy. especially because his line was the shortest, thus the first one everyone who wanted to check-in stepped into first. jody and i moved over to the next line and quickly found ourselves already ahead of our poor, angry friend. it turns out there was some dude (our douche as jody called him) holding up angry man's line looking at pictures of suites and stuff. i put my sunglasses on the back of my neck the like guy holding up the line and said something like "is this the cool thing to do now?" to which jody responded "no, now you look like that douche." this comment cracked up the strangers behind us which is one of the great joys in life. making total strangers laugh. classic.


we eventually got checked in and were happy that our room was really nice. we settled in and then did some walking around. we went to see the MGM lions.
































we checked out the miracle mile shops in planet hollywood, went over to new york new york, walked up to the bellagio to see the botanial gardens and the fountains. (it's hard to tell from that picture of smoky the bear, but the water was dripping through him since he was made entirely of moss and stuff which made it look like he was really sweaty. understandable given the 106+ temps while we were there. we also thought that water orb was really awesome.)















































eventually we headed back to the room and we were both pretty exhausted. we had thought about going to a dueling piano bar, but we were both wiped out and hungry so we decided to order a pizza and watch tv for a while and call it a early night. we called papa john's and i learned of jody's intense hatred of sausage, peppers, and onions. :) about 40 minutes later we headed outside to meet the delivery guy. as we were waiting, we had some fun people watching/mocking. at one point this giant limo pulled up and jody predicted some sort of rock star type or skinny ho-bag would jump out. we were surprised when instead a very large family exited it instead. just goes to show you that you never can accurately predict what is about to happen next in vegas.

i spotted our pizza delivery guy from a distance so trotted off to get our pizza, which we promptly devoured, while sitting on the floor watching sex in the city. (i made the point that sitting on the floor having a pizza picnic would have been unthinkable at the sahara.) so that was the end of day two. we went to sleep happy and full and ready to get some rest to prepare for vega

what happens in vegas ends up on my blog

or at least some of it. :) jody and i had an AWESOME time in las vegas, so i thought i should share some of the fun with you, my beloved reader(s). if you'll bear with me, i'm going to attempt to upload goofy pictures from my iPhone as i go.

i left dubuque at the flat-out ridiculous hour of 2:30 a.m. in order to catch my 6:00 a.m. flight in madison. thankfully, my friend clete gave me a ride to the airport so i wouldn't sleepily crash into a cow or something on my way there. the madison airport was surprisingly bigger than i thought it would be. i debated whether i should bother with having a coffee, having slept exactly not at all, and decided that it probably wouldn't hurt anything. while standing in the line with other travelers who made the same choice as me, an older lady walked past all of us to the counter and asked if she had to stand in line for coffee. the cashier was a bit stunned by the sheer stupidity of this question, given the fact that this wasn't elizabeth taylor or the queen of england or someone, and informed her that indeed, the rest of us were waiting for coffee. i know it was early, but what the hell else would we have been doing in that line. but i digress...

my flights to vegas were thankfully uneventful and i met jody at the airport at 9:30 vegas time. we took the shuttle to the Sahara, which at one time was the scene for such greats as The Beatles and all the Rat Pack dudes. now it's the scene for...people on a budget who needed one night in a hotel before they get to their good hotel. i didn't take a picture of our room, despite it's cool wall paper, but i did get a shot of the their ingenius logo...















the bread tie thing that was in our hallway during the entire stay...




















and the teeny tiny shot glasses that we got with our $1.00 kamikaze shots...(i'll spare you the picture of jody's champagne ice cream float...because...damn. :P)




















and this last picture gives you a sample of the aforementioned wall paper. you'll also note that someone added to it by slapping their levi's size label thing on the wall. can't have nice things at the sahara.


























what we can have though is some classy advertising for some of the high quality food that you can eat in this desert-themed masterpiece of a hotel. here are the two best examples.





what are they getting at? :) needless to say, we didn't eat either of these things...mostly because we stuck with the champagne brunch...and well...you can read.









one of our first ventures out of the sahara was across the street to bonanza's naughty town. we saw it on the shuttle ride and were thrilled to find that it was located so close to our hotel. though naughty town provided a great deal of hilarity, we both agreed that it wasn't all that naughty. i started calling it "moderately inappropriate subdivision."

here is a sample of some of the things we saw but didn't purchase.









damn i love those squirrel underpants. that's funny stuff.

we wrapped up day one by getting a taxi to the in-n-out burger where we had AWESOME food. there was probably some gambling and drinking and debauchery (side note: we had to explained to the guy who checked us into the MGM what that word means...how can you work in vegas and not know?). it's a little hard to remember all the details of day one because of getting exactly one hour of sleep. i think i'm going to have to split this into a few posts, so for now i'll leave you with this.




love ya jody!

eat. pray. love. blog. :)

as the title of this post makes clear, i'm reading the book eat, pray, love by elizabeth gilbert. though the book was published a few years ago, i'm just getting around to reading it now, and i have to say that i think the timing is pretty perfect. a friend of mine recommended it last summer, but i'm not sure i was in a place where i could have really appreciated the message the author is conveying. (plus i might have been downright pissed that i could go on a one-year trip around the world to get over my relationship woes.) as i read it now though, i find some much that resonates with how i've been feeling lately and the complicated path it is to move past a broken heart. maybe i should come up with some sort of 3 part january term course to italy, india, and indonesia? :)

anyway, when bits have been particulary pertinent or inspiring, i've dog-eared the page so i can come back to them. here is one i want to share.

"most of us, even if only for two minutes in our lives, have experienced at some time or another an inexplicable and random sense of complete bliss, unrelated to anything that was happening in the outside world. one instant, you're just a regular joe, schlepping through your mundane life, and then suddenly what is this?--nothing has changed, yet you feel stirred by grace, swollen with wonder, overflowing with bliss. everything for no reason whatsoever--is perfect." (197)

i have had these moments in my life...where the sun is reflecting off the buildings in dubuque in this gorgeous golden light or the moon shines heavy, full, and red in the sky...where despite all the things i find myself worrying about, for that moment all i care about is the beauty of it all and the blessings in my life. lately, beyond those random moments that make my heart pound with a little more life than it does during the mundane times, i find myself feeling happy for specific reasons. students sometimes make me want to punch them in the face, but i love my job. the debts i have sometimes stress me out, but i see a path out of them. my apartment might seem empty without a companion (pet or otherwise), but i love it. i might need to slim down in order to be happier with myself, but i have this renewed sense of self-confidence about kate than i've had in a while. (last summer was rough.) dubuque might be cold in the winter, but it's been lovely in the spring and summer (and we have the best sweet corn in the state.) there are many people that i miss and want to see more, while being blessed with new friendships. at this point in my life, i'm so happy to report, things are going well...and given the year i've had, i feel like this is big news.

this leads me to another part of the book that i really like and thus dog-earred:

"there is so much about my fate that i cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. there are certain lottery tickets i can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. i can decide how i spend my time, whom i interact with, who i share my body and life and money and energy with. i can select what i eat and read and study. i can choose how i'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life--whether i will see them as curses or opportunities (and on occasions when i can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because i'm feeling too damn sorry for myself, i can choose to keep trying to change my outlook.) i can choose my words and the tone of voice in which i speak to others. and most of all, i can choose my thoughts." (177)

so this quote could lead you to believe that i'm ignoring the sociology in my life, and trust me, that's impossible. (it might also be a bit corny, but i don't care.) i feel like this quote in particular talks about the agency that we all have in how we deal with the social forces and life events that come to be in our lives. i could choose to let bitterness and frustration rule my mind, and undoubtedly that attitude would then impact all kinds of other things. but instead, i haven't done that. i've been determined to be positive despite all shit this year, and it's nice to know that i'm in a better place than i might have been without my "foolish" optimism. (i also think this quote could be handy to paraphrase on syllabi for the fall.) :)

anyway, this is probably a lot of rambling just to say...kate is happy. :D hope you all are as well.

okay summer break...hurry up and get here

lately the question "how's your break going" has come up a few times and i feel myself edging towards irritation when i hear the query. this is mostly due to the fact that i haven't really felt like i'm on a break yet. i have already started teaching my two summer classes (in week two and three of them actually), i've had to finish up my annual review, attend some meetings, plan for some more meetings, and finish grading. SO it has been a bit of a crazy few weeks and i'm still trying to get used to the idea that things really will eventually slow down.

now, don't get me wrong, i know i should be complaining because people with non-academic type jobs don't get the summer off and i realize that. AND i really do love what i do most of the time. but after this crazy year, i really feel like i need some down time or i'm not going to have a good third year. the thing a lot of people don't know about this prof gig is that to some degree, it can be never-ending. for example, this summer i need to get ready for the fall and my january term course, do some research, register new students at conferences, do some more research, possibly participate in some more meetings, and deal with the two courses that i'm teaching. when the semester starts, it will be back to the grind with more meetings, more grading, more figuring out what i'm doing in classes, and so on and so forth. so though yes, officiallly i'm not on contract this summer....i won't be spending the time lounging on the beach. :) hopefully eventually when i've done this for a while i'll be able to take a real break, but until the tenure clock stops ticking, i have a feeling life will be busy.

in the meantime, i'm going to have a piece of wacky cake, enjoy a cold beer, avoid grading, read some of the current non-academic book i'm working on right now (A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby), and get some sleep. :D

maybe i should stick around for a while

http://www.thonline.com/article.cfm?id=240812

woo!

it's been a while...

and i have a lot to catch up on most likely, but i think i'll proceed with my 2008 year-in-review that will then ultimately bring us up to date.

january 2008

• first year as a doctor
• enjoyed a very long break in between semesters, which included some time in albuquerque to do research and visit.
• spent a weekend in dubuque with my niece amanda
  
• remembered that the sun does exist in winter time (just not often in iowa.)
• stopped working part-time at pier 1
• moved out of my apartment that i loved into a gorgeous house with roommates brad and christine.
  

february 2008

• started my second semester at loras which involved teaching stats for the first time, as well as covering my colleagues stats class as she was out for maternity leave.
• went to ABQ for mike's going away party.
• broke driver's side car window in snow-related incident.
• start the best part-time job ever at the diamond jo
  

march 2o08

• difficult time for students when one of our students sadly passed away from meningitis :(
  
• went to las vegas for a conference with mom and had a great time!
  
• spring break in TX

april 2o08

• got to see sara who was back from hong kong for a conference in chicago! woo!
  
• went to st. louis for yet another conference and got to see my fam.
• teaching of 5th class ends and relief of only having 4 ensues
• two quick/weird trip to TX in one week
• i think it finally stopped snowing sometime this month. it was a record breaking winter.
  

may 2008

• went to may commencement as a faculty member and then realized that it had been 10 years since my own graduation.
  
• moved for the third time this year into my current apartment which i love
• discovered that couches can defy gravity
  
• start of heart-breaking romance end begins.
• family weekend during memorial day to hang out with mom and dad on their 34th anniversary. (we weren't sure if it was 34 or 35 and i had to use some good detective skills.)
• scary F-5 tornado in iowa!
  

june 2008

• first summer class taught at loras.
• visited my friend jody in her new hometown of charlotte, nc. we got to go to the beach and get wicked sunburns.
• crazy iowa floods!
  
• relationship break ends in not the way i had hoped..

july 2008

• july 4th with the doyles!
  
• went to my cousin ashley's wedding and discovered what being a reader really involved.
• found out break-up was even yuckier than expected
  
• took a much needed trip to new orleans to plan january-term class and to do some serious soul-searching. met ray nagin at mass there.
  
• went to texas and las vegas to visit friends and get some closure.
  

august 2008

• realized i should have done more work over the summer
• made some new friends
• started dating again...kinda sorta.
• jack-up knee dancing after an irish hooley
  
• year two as a faculty member begins
• went to erin and brent's wedding and made some new friends in WI.
• started teaching at the community college
  

september 2008

• made a few more new friends including a locally famous dog
• started watching Six Feet Under series because it's awesome
  
• visit my brother and his family in st. louis
• miss the last of six weddings i was invited to over the summer. only was able to go to two and was sad to miss the others. but congrats!
• get some debts consolidated
  

october 2008

• went to a surprise 40th birthday party for my brother
• caught up with some duhawks at homecoming! 10 years?!
  
• job interview at a school i thought i wanted to work at. found out that i didn't and that staying put is a good plan.
• went to see the aggies beat iowa state. whoop!
  

november 2008

• OBAMA IS ELECTED!!! WOO!!!
• slight set-back on the "moving on" front
  
• girl weekend with mom, aunt deb, and cousin kelli
• JUMBIES and mom and dad in the same weekend. woo!
• jocelyn came to visit and gave talks about new orleans and hurricane katrina
• fun Milwaukee weekend
• visited jeremy in rock island and discovered the genious that is Flight of the Conchords
  
• two family thanksgivings! yum!
  

december 2008

• finished a very busy fall semester with the stress of getting ready for january term
• start an earring side business for fun and no-profits yet
  
• had fun at the christmas gala
• new Diamond Jo opens!
• said good-bye to Grandma Parks :(
  

january 2009

• rang in the new year in milwaukee after some fun in chicago. viva the year of kate!
  
• turned 33...what the?
  
• J-term class to New Orleans and back
• took a mini-break to TX

february 2009

• spring semester starts and i'm not at all prepared for two new courses and stats. (lemented 8 a.m. classes)
  
• exhaustion from j-term lingers
• started the match.com thing again
  
• fundraiser for new orleans. the students did a good job though i still have a lot of beads and some coffee for sale if anyone is interested. ;)
• signed up for a gym membership
  

march 2009

• awesome spring break! spend a few days in dubuque with dennis and then the rest of the break in albuquerque catching up with friends i haven't seen in too long. this included some high quality time with my friend haley and baby kate (and dan too of course.)
• discover how cool park farm winery is
  
• happy to get a contract for next year even if it didn't have a raise on it
• finished watching Six Feet Under series. wow!
  

april 2009

• conference in des moines. caught up with old friends, made some new friends, and had a great time connecting with my colleague
• good times with dennis, erin, and brent at the casino on a random monday night
  
• fun easter weekend with mom that involved sushi, wine, shopping, and a champagne easter brunch

okay, so that brings me up to date. this is definitely not an all-inclusive list and there are undoubtedly many things that i forgot. hopefully i will keep things more up to date from now on. 2008 was unforgettable for a lot of reasons. thanks to everyone who made it a great year. 2009 looks to be even better and we're not even halfway through yet. :D

peace friends!

remembering

i find myself reflecting on christmas traditions from my childhood tonight. it might be because i watched A Christmas Story two-and-a-half times tonight. but more likely it is because i always think of those times on christmas and now it seems especially significant to do so. today (or more accurately yesterday) was a sad day, because my grandma parks passed away. she has been ill for a very long time and recently in and out of the hospital frequently. she lived a long life (94 years) and i hope mostly a happy one. though it is sad for us all, it is also good to know that she's not in pain anymore. and we can focus on our great memories of her and celebrating her life. easier said than done in many ways. she was my last living grandparent, so that also makes it difficult. weddings, kids, and just all of that stuff without my grandparents. fortunately, there are so many great memories that i can share with my future family and keep near to my heart, which is a nice segue to the holiday memories.

our christmas would start on christmas eve at my grandma and grandpa reuter's house. my mom has 4 brothers and 1 sister who were all married with kids, so all of us would gather and have dinner. there were usually a few college students from foreign countries there as well, which just added to the uniqueness of the night. the kids would watch in amazement as my uncles would come back from the food table (which was usually the pool table in the basement) with food piled high on their plates! it seemed to be some sort of unofficial eating competition. the kids would be seated around a few card tables and we'd eat. and eat. and eat. occassionally someone (actually only my aunt mary one time) would fall down the basement stairs, resultuing in a trip to the ER for her and apparently a relish tray run for my uncle jon. after dinner, some of us would go to christmas eve mass. i remember sitting in the balcony one year listening to the extended story of the birth of christ. when we got back, we'd find that the dishes had been done by those choosing not to go to church and we'd gather in the living room upstairs for the gift exchange. we'd open presents, eat homemade chocolate covered cherries and peanut brittle and sugar cookies that some of us kids likely helped make with grandma earlier in the week. they also always had ribbon candy and those awesome peppermint nougat things with the evergreen tree in the middle. i LOVED those. after gifts were opened, the kids would usually go play in the basement and the adults would hang out doing grown-up things (like beer drinking i'm assuming) upstairs. eventually it would be time to go home. i recall those rides back across town in the back of the car. we'd always drive by the high school where there was a display of santa and his reindeer (complete with a red-nosed rudolph) on the roof of the roundhouse (the gym.) i would watch out the back window into the night sky looking for santa to fly by.

the next morning, we woke up at the crack of dawn to open presents at our house. sometime in the mid-morning, grandma and grandpa reuter would stop by to see our new treasures. then we'd get ready to go to grandma and grandpa parks' house. in some ways it was the same scenario but with less people. my dad has two sisters, so they and their families would gather. we'd eat WAY too much food and there were usually enough of us to be spread around a few tables. some of us would be in the dining room off of the kitchen and others would be in the smaller dining area near the living room. there were be a lot of eating and a classic kate story came out of one of the gatherings at grandma parks' house. when i was young (like 2 or so) i loved to eat (which i realize is not all together different from now.) i was sitting in my high chair, watching everyone pass food to each other around the table, patiently waiting for some of my own. when the corn went by i made it know in my own special way that i was hungry too by saying "i like corn i eat corn." subtle, i know. after dinner was completed and dishes were done, we'd go to the basement usually to open presents. i think there was a tree in the upstairs living room and one downstairs as well. we'd open our gifts, the kids would play, the adults would talk. we'd stay into the evening after eating pies and other desserts. there were always kisses from grandma and grandpa as you left. grandpa's were often scratchy from the subtle on his face. then we'd venture down their relatively steep driveway (at least it seemed that way when i was a kid) and head back home. i remember that drive seemed like it took so long, even though they live about 5 miles from town.

things have obviously changed a great deal over the years as people have grown up, had kids, and started their own traditions, and as our grandparents aged and it became less realistic for them to host us all. but i'm so glad that we had those times and that i can remember them tonight when i should be sleeping. there is something so special and magical about this season. some light in the darkness. some brightness in the cold. it gives me a glimmer of hope even when things seem uncertain and even frustrating at times. i find myself now more excited about the gifts i give than the ones i get. relishing in new traditions that have emerged. watching my nieces and nephew get excited about santa. getting long hugs from my parents and siblings. wishing the best to my friends all around this country (and the world.) christmas gives us pause to really think about what matters the most in our lives. and days like this one highlights that even more.

to wrap up this long post, i want to say thank you to my family and friends who have supported me and loved me and made me laugh during what was at times a really difficult year. i want to thank you for your prayers and thoughts even in the last day. and know that you all help me understand the reason for the season.

happy holidays everyone with much love!

kate can't believe....

• how much has changed since last year at this time.
• she's had her Ph.D. for a year already.
• can't believe her January term class starts in a few weeks.
  
• that it snowed 8.8 inches last night.
• that Christmas is already here.
• it's not butter.
• that some things are still the same.
• that her landlord still won't let her have a cat.
• that tim is beating her at scrabble on facebook.
• how much she likes dubuque right now...despite the snow.
• that someone dug her car out for her this morning.
• she's thinking about renewing her match.com subscription again.
• how funny the Big Lebowski is and how delicious "Caucasians" are.
  
• how fast her nieces and nephews are growing up.
• how much the foil on a wine bottle can cut you.
• how hilarious Arrested Development is and that it was canceled after three seasons.
• how rude students can be when vying for a better grade.
• that people don't know that when they copy something directly from a website without citing it that they don't know it's plagiarism.
• how much she misses friends that are far away.
• how grateful she is for friends and family that are close by.
• how much she has to be thankful for this season.
  

below zero

so winter has not yet officially begun and we're seeing below zero temps here in iowa. *sigh*

i was checking weather.com to see what we're in for tomorrow (snow) and saw this. is anyone else concerned about this? very weird sight.

yes we can!!!!

i'll admit that though i was interested in politics in the past and definitely upset about the outcomes of the 2000 and 2004 elections, i did not follow them or get as involved as i should have. this time around, i paid more attention. talked about it more. informed myself on the issues. voted early. and prayed with cautious optimism that we would get the change that this country so desperately needs. overjoyed is an understatement for what my friends and i felt as we watched from seats in a movie theatre as the electoral votes climbed for obama. though it wasn't a large crowd on the democratic side at mindframe theatre, it was still amazing to cheer and yell and shout our praise at the screen as barack obama became our new president. (it was also fun to know that we outnumbered the republican side, though that might have been because the nature of the theatre itself....all those crazy indie films.)

as my optimism transformed from cautious to overwhelming, i found myself unable to contain my emotion. this was truly a remarkable day in our history. i knew it would be huge of obama won, but i'm not sure i had fully thought through what this decision, by our country, really means. people came out in record numbers to make their voices heard. that alone is moving, to know that so many people were motivated to make change and to cast their vote. to see what a landslide it ended up being was nothing short of incredible. our world is different now than it was before. that does not mean that inequality is instantly eradicated or that racism has been eliminated. but it does mean that something has happened in this country for the first time ever. and that is phenomenal. my nieces and nephew live in a world where they will grow up knowing that the white house isn't named that because only white people have been president. we do have a long way to go in so many respects, but this was such a major step for our nation and for our world. it's hard to even articulate what this means to me as someone who studies race and ethnicity and cares so deeply about issues of inequality. hopefully as this sinks in and i have some more time to process this, i will be able to more articulately express the enormity of what this means for us all. but what i can tell you is that i am filled with so much joy and hope, which continues to manifest itself tonight in tears of pure happiness and wonderment.

what a fantastic day for our nation! i pray we can come together as a country and not be divided. i pray for the safety of our new leader and his family and for his continued wisdom as he (we all) face major challenges. i pray that this message of tolerance and unity will not just be surface level, but instead we really will come together, take care of each other, and make this country a better place.

time for some champagne...and some restful sleep knowing that we changed the world today.

totally cute!

so i hung out with my brother and his family last weekend and took a bunch of pictures. my niece and nephew are so dang cute that it's just hard to resist capturing as many moments as possible. :)
in the soccer pics, my nephew luke is the one with the glasses. (go #35!) he did a great job.

http://fotosbykate.sexynerd.org/main.php?g2_itemId=3499

i forgot to put a title before...and now i still don't have one

unbelievably it is almost the end of september, which means that this semester is flying by! overall, that's been a great thing. i've been busy with school stuff, but not to the point of insanity and have been spending more time with friends here. i spent this past weekend in st. louis catching up with my brother and his family which was really fun. i have a lot coming up in the next few weeks as well, which gives me a lot to look forward to. so, my optimism continues on unscathed so far this year. :)

that being said, i still have a bunch of work to get done in the next few months. the research project i've been wanting to get off the ground has been delayed. waiting on IRB approval and hopefully some funding for a really cool online survey program. haven't made much progress on publishing the dissertation either. :( my prep for race and ethnicity has been harder than expected so i've been cheating and working on that during designated research time. hopefully i can get things under control in the next few weeks and will actually work on some scholarship.

my january term course is also looming a little larger. have to get a lot of work done on that soon!! i think i'm going to be putting together a reader for the students and need to firm up the plans in NOLA. so, cross your fingers that i can get everything done that i need to get done!

apparently i don't have anything profound to share today. just a quick update to say that all continues to be good. :D woo!

"and that's the way this wheel keeps working now..."

so apparently using lyrics as blog title's is my trend. that's probably no surprise though to the regular readers. this tidbit comes from the song wheel by john mayer. like many of his songs, there are parts of it that resonate with me. ultimately it's about life changing and not really knowing how it will turn out (at least that's my interpretation.) as previous posts have indicated, my life has changed a lot in the last 4 months in ways that i wouldn't have anticipated. i spent a lot of the summer kind of mourning those changes. and avoiding the reality of them. and fighting them. and though i needed to do a few of those things, ultimately i know that i can't undo them or go back in time and do anything differently. that isn't always easy to grapple with, but at the same time, i finally feel okay with that. more than okay actually. i really feel open to whatever it is that is going to happen.

if you had asked me in june if i would feel excited by the not-knowing i would have probably told you that you were a crazy asshole. but now, i'm just trying to be present to the present. i know that might sound new-agey or something, but i'm a planner by nature. so i struggle at times to just be. to just take in what's going on right now without thinking about the future. for whatever reason, i feel like my planny nature is taking a backseat. i'm still thinking about what's to come...applying for some jobs, updating and improving the vita, and considering options. but in my consideration, really for the first time in a way, i'm realizing that staying where i'm at is a viable option. or at least it could be. i think i got so used to the idea that was leaving here, that i wasn't really paying attention to some of the great things about staying. and there are some really great things.

so, if anyone has some words of wisdom on how i can figure these things out, i would love to hear it. in the meantime, i'm going to focus on making my classes as great as possible, completing some useful research, and spending quality time with the fantastic friends. (and of course, hang out with my family too...and hopefully soon!)

for the first time in a while, i'm not just being rhetorically optimistic. i feel it. and i'm so excited about what's going on in the here and the now. and i truly believe that because i'm good person that the last line of wheel also applies to me.

"i believe...that my life's gonna see, the love i give return to me.

i believe!"

:)

no crap...

Making a commitment now can be serious business; once you decide, you won't be able to easily change your mind. Whether you are considering moving to another city, changing jobs or switching schools, it's crucial to take your time and think through all the pros and cons before choosing what to do next.

By Rick Levine

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

thanks for nothing! :)

time flies...

sitting here realizing that i've lived in iowa for a year now. hard to believe that on monday i will be starting meetings again, this time as a 2nd year faculty member. we start classes in a week as well, which i'll admit, i'm not quite ready for.

much has changed in the last year. some of it is still hard to believe. but it will be interesting to see what the next year in iowa holds.

"i have reason to believe the grass might be a little greener on the other side"

i haven't really blogged much this summer. part of the reason for that has been an inability to actually post what i've been going through on here. it felt to me as though if i put it up here, it would be real, and i just wasn't ready for that the be the case. (and i don't like using my blog in a passive aggressive way, so hopefully this post won't come off that way.) i'm not convinced that i want it to all to be real now either, but i should probably write and update anyway.

in many ways, this has been one of the most difficult summers of my life. i've had rough ones before, like the summer of five years ago or summers without stable employment and financial worries. this one trumps all of those. i think part of the problem was that this was my first summer off since, i dunno, high school. i did teach in the first session but was basically done working by the end of june. so i had high hopes for what i might be doing with all the time on my hands. instead, i faced the end of one of the most important relationships in my life. and that end has been terribly difficult and painful, and probably made worse by all the time on my hands. though i have had hope that things would change, i'm not sure it will. which means though this person means more to me than i can explain, things are going to change. i've been really unwilling to accept that and stubbornly just wanting him back. but i can see that no good is coming of that strategy. and though i don't want to and i'm still not totally ready to, i have to move on now. there is nothing easy about that and no cliches or anything make it any easier. for now, i just have to struggle on and hope for the best...and accept whatever that "best" might be, even if it's not the one i wanted.

though it's been tempting to just wallow on my couch like a slug, i've also managed to go on a few trips and make some new friends this summer, which has been great. the most recent trip was to new orleans (followed by texas and las vegas which were also good but clarifying in a way that i wasn't wanting). i went to NOLA in order to prepare for my january term class. it was an amazing time and i hope i can hang onto some of the lessons learned while dealing with everything else. something i realized while i was there, was that i was really isolating myself in my grief. the second day i was there, i went to mass at st. peter claver and was very moved by the community. it made me see that by trying to handle all of this on my own, that i was really closing myself off from relationships with others and creating distance between me and the people who care about me. i don't want to say that the trip gave me perspective, because something about that seems very trite, but it did help me temporarily get out of my own head and to just be more willing to go with whatever will come. that is a hard proposition for a planny person like myself. seems i'm always trying to figure out what my next move will be. instead, i was just present to where i was and who i was with. i needed that. i also got to reconnect with my great friend jocelyn. she is so awesome and i've missed her so much. i can't wait to get back there in january and sharing NOLA with my students and i really hope i can get jocelyn up here in the fall to talk at my school.

so anyway, i had more coherent thoughts than this, but they are not translating. to sum up, rough summer...yay for reconnecting with awesome friends.

in other news, it is almost mid-august which means that school is starting soon. totally and completely not ready to be teaching again. this year should be a busy one though and hopefully a productive one as well.

something i care about

hi friends,

check out this blog sometime if you're interested and not only because i recently posted on it. :)
http://www.racismreview.com/blog/

more to come!
kate

whoa...really?

i got into my car today after a meeting and was surprised to hear the song "i'm too sexy" by right said fred playing on the radio. for a second, i had to take a look to make sure that it was in fact the radio and not my ipod. but sure enough, one of the more popular stations in town (which is a bit of a misnomer since there aren't that many) was playing this classic from 17 years ago. it wasn't an 90s flashback hour or some show dedicated to contemporaries of gerardo. it was just on. followed by a song from 2008. this town is too sexy for my hat.