holy exhausted batman

so, its my final night in chicago. i can proudly say that i am leaving tomorrow having completed 9 really really good interviews. if i get some people to do phone interviews then i will have wrapped up this leg of my research. somewhat hard to believe and i hope that my time in austin is just as fruitful.

now, i'm looking forward to dinner with some college friends and then an evening of relaxation and sleep. in order to get to campus on time for my first interview, i had to get up at 5:20 (that's 4:20 albuquerque time) in order to catch the train into the city. and i didn't sleep well since i had some things on my mind and was nervous about missing the train. i did manage to make it with a minute to spare. :)

this trip has really been great. i got to see jen and jed and their son ryan and crazy insane dog, daisy (who has inspired me not to get a jack russell terrier...no offense...they are just too high maintenance for me). jed and jen and i went to beautiful milwaukee on saturday night and had dinner with our duhawk friends chad, theresa, and greg at harry's bar and grill. we had way too much fun for sure. ("GOOD NIGHT CHAUNCEY!") we also went to a very cool german bar called von trier.

thursday i caught up with my friend becky who i haven't seen since 2003...and that hardly counts since it was only for a few minutes. we managed to talk and catch up for about 5 hours. :) we're actually meeting again tonight (with more college friends) and will have to resist staying up late. i think given how exhausted i am though, that i will likely poop out before it hits 8 in the windy city.

looking forward to getting back to my own bed in albuquerque and putting my suitcase back in the closet for a while....or a week. :)

anywho...that's all from me for now. have a good one kids!

crazy starbucks karma

so i'm feeling a little trapped at this starbucks in chicago at the moment. i'm in town doing research for my dissertation and can't get internet access where i'm staying. so i meandered in what i thought was the right direction to find this starbucks...and luckily happened upon it without issue. good karma from the get-go. but it gets better.

i order my drink and i get one of those "do our on-line survey and get a free drink" things. then when i go to pick up my venti percent hazelnut latte, i notice that i was given a grande (one size smaller for those of you who don't speak starbucks.) so that barista guy gives me both drinks. not bad but more coffee than i needed at 4 in the afternoon...so i figured i could take the other one back to my apartment and drink it in the morning.

after being here a while checking email and hoping to hear back from the many many students who have emailed me with interest in the study, i start getting cold. this is a rather drafty starbucks...mostly because its friggin' cold in chicago and every time anyone opens the door we get a preview of what it will be like when i finally leave. so i ordered a venti caramel apple cider mostly because it has no caffeine and i don't want to be up all night...but i do want a warm-up. to my surprise, the barista does it AGAIN! so once again i leave the coffee bar with two drinks. i currently have five drink cups on my table and i'm sure people in here, when they stop studying for a moment, think i'm the most wired person in chicago right now.

now my hope is that i don't pee myself tonight...that i find my way back to the apartment without issue, and that the many many students who have emailed me will actually have time to meet with me while i'm in town.

here's hoping karma stays on my side for the rest of the trip. :)

HAPPY HALLOWEENIE!! :)

where did october go?

i don't about you guys, faithful readers, but this month flew by! i can't believe its already almost november, though i have to say, i'm sort of excited about november. :) i'll be doing some traveling to chicago and texas which will hopefully mean i will be pretty much done collecting data for my dissertation. i'll get to see some college friends while i'm in the midwest. i get to have a fun thanksgiving with mike's family and hopefully catch up with some texas friends. and i get to miss a lot of work which is AWESOME. (boring job stuff going on right now..) then before we know it the semester will be over which will mean no more saturday classes and having the chance to go home again for the holidays. :) looking forward to all of that a lot!

i had a fun weekend with mike. we went to a halloween party on saturday night and i think our costumes were a big hit. i'll try to post some photos later on. the work computer is not cooperating.

haven't heard much on the faculty job front. i sent out about 10 more packets last week and hopefully that will be it for a while. i'll let you know if i hear anything.

i guess i should work or something now.

my scale is made of evil

so today i stepped on the scale and to my happy surprise it said that i had lost 10 pounds since this crazy process had started and had thus reach one of my benchmarks. i think foolishly stepped on it again and it was a dirty lie! it lied by 5 pounds. what the f@)#!?~ time for a new scale? :) regardless, pants are getting to big and ass is getting smaller. and i can run a slightly longer distance (thus faster pace) than i could even last week. boo-ya! screw you evil scale!

UPDATE: this morning (oct 26) the scale said that i've lost 9 pounds since this process started. it even said that the second and third time i stepped on it. can i get a woo hoo?! maybe those muscles i built up are finally starting to get rid of the fat. *grin* scale is less evil today.

crazy freakin' weight loss

mike and i have been trying out body for life. i think i'm trying to do a good job of sticking to the food part and have been working out more often and with more intensity than i have been in a long time. sure, sure...iowa was not kind to me in terms of eating right, but i'm happy to say that it wasn't a dis-ass-ter and i managed to even job while i was at home (and sick with a cold to boot!)

so my results after 3 weeks....pretty much the same weight..though i have dropped a few pounds...nothing exciting going on with the stupid scale in my bathroom. pants...a bit looser...i think i'm exactly between the size i really didn't want to be and the size i was when i moved here. so what is keeping me doing this? well...there are some noticable results even if the scale doesn't reflect it. my body is getting trimmer....i'm getting some muscle tone...my face is thinner...my boobs are bit smaller (of course)...and even that pesky tummy is shrinking slowly. and i can lift more weight, run/jog faster and longer than i could before, and can do some exercises that were impossible before due to jacked up knee. i'm ready and waiting for the part where the muscle i've been building up starts eating the fat away so i actually do shrink a size and smile when i step on the scale. but...so far so good i guess. right? :)

(by the way...congratulate mike because he's lost way more weight than me. damn boys!) ;)

"kate's mom just called jeremy a bitch"

this past weekend i went to iowa for the wedding of one of my closest friends from college. it was a great time and so nice to get to see my family and my college buddies. and i think it was especially awesome to see how happy monica is in her new relationship. she and patrick are truly a perfect fit and that was so evident as they took their vows and joined their lives. so happy for her. :) the wedding was beautiful and simple and monica looked gorgeous! maybe i'll post some pictures at some point.

the subject line for this blog is a quotation from a rock. now i know you're asking, "what the hell is kate talking about?" but i will explain. monica and patrick had large river rocks on each table with paint pens so that we could leave them words of wisdom. at one point my mom did, in fact, call my friend jeremy a bitch (he earned it..trust me!), so my friend jed wrote the aforementioned quote on one of the rocks for monica and patrick. i'm sure they will treasure it always...or bury it under the other rocks that say things like "laugh often." :)

the day before and after the wedding i got to spend time with my parents and my brother, sister-in-law, and nieces. i haven't seen my niece amber since december when she was a newborn, so it was fun to watch her running all over the place now. she's a cutie. and my niece amanda is growing up faster than i'd like to admit. she's doing well in her new school though and will soon be driving and stuff. insanity!

anyway, that's enough rambling for now. i'm back in new mexico...back at work...and stumbling through all the stuff i'm trying to get done. :) hopefully some more exciting news will be coming soon.

relief via usps

so my friend sara asked me how the job search was going like a week or so ago and i haven't answered her yet (see last post). but, the scoop is that i have sent out about 27 job applications. in fact, i sent the majority of them today which is a huge relief. could the packets be better....sure! would it help if i had more publications...absolutely! do i care at this point....not really. :) i mean, i care...it would be cool to get a job somewhere (kinda sorta), but mostly i'm just happy that they are out of my hands and in a mailbox and i don't have to worry about it for a while. as random positions pop up i can still apply, but its nice to know that most of them are on their way for evaluation. where did i apply you ask? well...all over the place. more details as i hear more.

fall is always busy!

so, its fall here in albuquerque. some leaves are changing, the weather gets relatively cool at night, its not uncommon to tote a sweater or jacket with you in the morning, and my schedule is freakin' busy as hell. it seems to be this way every fall though, which is probably good since i'm so much more motivated than the spring.

what's keeping me busy you ask? well...a lot of stuff. i've been working full-time still and about 3 days a week i have dissertation interviews scheduled after work. i've been doing body for life so i've been trying to eat better and work out more. i'm still applying for a bunch of faculty positions so i've been trying to get all of that information put together, copied, and sent. my hope is to get almost all of those mailed this weekend. i'm trying to figure out next semester in terms of employment (shhh...that's a secret so don't tell my boss) and might have some options there. and i've been planning trips to austin and chicago to finish my interviews and a trip to iowa for a wedding (one of three happening this fall!!). and on the more fun side, my great friend shelley came to visit last weekend which was AWESOME! good times. :)

and then there's the list of things that i need to do...which actually mostly involves writing 3 chapters of my dissertation by the end of the semester. hopefully once the interviews in NM are done that will be easier.

so...that's the scoop right now. need more hours in the day engineers. work on it.

night of the comet

so i went to an ABQ mall today and i have to say it was weird. i don't know if this mall is going out of business OR if its just starting (i think its the first one), but there were literally 4 stores open in the whole place. everything else was closed and there were hardly any people shopping (which makes sense). as i walked from the men's dillards to the women's dillards, i giggled a little, because it seemed like we could have easily been in a zombie movie of some sort. i was shopping with the only survivors of some comet hitting NM and didn't realize that the mall was closed and so empty for that reason. :) anyway, i got what i needed and didn't have to utilize any zombie attack skills.

congratulate me...

because i got my aggie ring today! WHOOP!!!!!because i got my aggie ring today! WHOOP!!!!!

little kate sunshine

so don't read this post if you want to know nothing about the movie little miss sunshine. i'm pretty sure that what i reveal about the movie won't ruin it, but sometimes people get uptight about having any prior movie knowledge (jeremy). i went to see it yesterday and found it especially relevant to how i'm feeling right now. so read on if you dare. (by the way...this movie is great. highly recommended.)

so, one of the main characters in this movie is olive. she's like 7 or something and gets the opportunity to be a participant in a beauty pageant in california called "little miss sunshine." it is probably an understatement to say that olive is a bit weird (as is her family) and that she is not what you'd consider a typical beauty pageant type. when she gets to the competition, she sees other 7 year olds getting air-brushed tans with lots of make-up, huge hair, remarkable talents, and fancy costumes. they are scarily skinny and made-up to the point of creepy. olive has none of this. she's just herself. she has her own style and her own costumes, but they are not on par with her competition. she is full of hope, but vastly underprepared for this competition. she is herself, but to a fault in this case.

so what does this have to do with me? i'm not 7 (by a long shot!), nor a beauty queen hopeful. as i watched olive eye her competitors, i could totally relate. my vita, my cover letters, my writing samples, my statements of research and teaching are definitely works in progress. my dissertation is not done. i have one publication. i have few awards and accolades. i feel like olive. i feel like i showed up at the competition without my evening gown or make-up or big hair. i can get ready and plan to bust my ass to get this stuff in top shape to send out by FRIDAY for a few of the jobs. but i can't shake the idea that my competitors are light-years ahead of me in this process.

the lesson i can take from olive. go for it. try anyway. put it out there and see what happens. because in the end, it will all be okay no matter what. in one scenario, i get a new job that i hopefully like doing what i've been preparing to do for like 6 years. in the other, i get to stay in ABQ for a while, get more prepared, and hang out in a place that i love with great friends. so...i should probably chill a bit and just keep practicing. :) like olive did.

um...yeah....hmmm

so, this week has been unexpectedly confusing after a really fun weekend. i emailed my committee chair on tuesday about applying for a fellowship that would basically pay me to write my dissertation. he told me i should "go for it," but then yesterday wrote that i should apply for some of the many jobs that are currently being advertised right now. the basic idea is: hurry up and collect data and then get crackin' with job applications. i have resisted the idea of graduating in 2007 for a while now. i have a lot to do with the dissertation, i only have one publication, and i'm just not quite sure where i want to be. add to that the simple fact that i feel like i just moved here and i'm not sure i'm ready to think about leaving ABQ yet.

and yet....i'm thinking about sending out some applications anyway. as my chair says, there are a lot of jobs now and you should apply when there are a lot of jobs. AND some of the jobs are considering ABD candidates. AND i'm not that happy with my current job and after ASA felt antzy to be back in the sociological world.

i've found a lot of people to write me letters of recommendation and serve as references. i'm going to work on my vita and teaching philosophy and cover letter this weekend. i'll attempt to translate the weird sheets that came with my teaching evaluations in order to demonstrate my teaching excellence. i was also told that i should have a couple of chapters of my dissertation to submit which i don't really have now. any thoughts on that colleagues? and i'll figure out where i might want to move if i am somehow offered a job next august. i have some places in mind and will have to see what's out there.

so..this is all very crazy. and i figure that i'll know more about what to do when stuff starts happening. its very possible that i won't get any offers right now. you never can tell.

it's official

so this is the first time in 5 years that my car insurance, driver's licence, and license plates are all in the same state. i would say that means new mexico is definitely my new stomping ground...for a while anyway. :)

searching for appropriate song lyrics

so, i spend a lot of my day at work entering data and listening to my iPod (which is my tactic for blocking out all the background noise and chatter that is inherent to cubicle life.) i have a boat load of really good music on there and i've been keeping my ears open for an appropriate lyric that would sum up how i'm feeling about stuff right now. i thought for sure that deathcab for cutie or the postal service or blue october or keane would come through for me....but so far i haven't heard the quintessential collection of words that describe kate's feelings in late august. the closest i've come is a line from a zero 7 song (Garden State soundtrack...check it out). "wasting my time....waiting in line..." i do feel like there's a lot of waiting going on, but i'm not convinced my time is being wasted in all areas of my life. so...close, but not quite it. or there's the shins (same soundtrack): "i'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find." this is a bit more negative and pessimistic than i feel right now, so again....not really it.

this one from bonnie somerville is closer: "
And it's a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
I still don't know
Where it goes
And it's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
I still have hope
I'm gonna find my way home

so why is this one closest to the feelings i've had? because it captures the frustration of waiting for dreams to be realized and the cautious optimism that its not too late, despite the "long time" of walking and searching. and that's kind of where i'm at right now as another school year starts and i find myself walking and searching and waiting. for example, i'm waiting for some tangible results from the amped up work-outs i've been doing at the gym. i'm searching for a job that makes me really happy AND gives me benefits and a decent salary...a salary that actually rewards me for the experience and education that i bring to it. there are other relevant examples that i could write about, but i think the point is made. and its not that i'm unhappy about my life. indeed i have so much to be grateful for...great friends, cooler fall temps, a nice apartment that is almost up to par, a wonderful family (who i miss and don't see enough), my health, etc. lots of good stuff for sure. so that should probably be enough right? and yet, i'm still tryng to find my way home...which to me means getting, well...the total package. it seems like i'm constantly getting part of the package...but not all at once. and maybe its possible that i'm glorifying the idea of the total package. its my interpretation of what's going on for other people in my world. i don't know. but i'm optimistic...cautiously...that it will come together. hopefully sooner than later.

in other news, i start teaching for the fall on saturday. i think it will be fun and the small classes will be great. BUT i'm not really looking forward to a 6 day work week. here's hoping the extra money leads to less debts. :)

finally...a cool quote that popped up on my google homepage:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss

this seemed especially relevant with all the crazy shit going on at work lately. more on that later. thanks to those of you who matter so much to me and don't mind who i am. boo-ya!

au revoir montreal

i had the good fortune to travel to the American Sociological Association's annual meeting in Montreal, Canada last weekend. i wasn't looking forward to the trip really, but it turned out to be a great weekend. montreal is beautiful (i'll post pictures later). everything is in french, but most everyone speaks english too. there are awesome outdoor markets, pedestrian areas, flowers, old buildings, great coffee (tim horton's rocks my ass off), friendly people (including men who hit on lindsay and me since i was there), delicious ethnic food, good wine (and sangria), and just an overall good feel. my friend warren and i stumbled upon an art expo that was going on near the waterfront, which was a great surprise. the conference was great too. though my presentation could have gone better, it was good to be in the presence of other sociologists. it was very motivating. (if only work didn't totally drain me...which is weird since its mostly busy, crap work that requires little to no-brain power). plenty of texas a&m colleagues were there too, which was fantastic. it was great to catch up with friends and to talk about how things are going with faculty. gives me some perspective on what's going on here in abq right now. overall, it was a great trip...and i didn't even have to throw all my toiletries away...just one thing of lotion on the way back. :) so, i would definitely go back to montreal...it was really a beautiful city and i'm glad i had the opportunity to check it out.

au revoir!

(self-preservation tactic because i don't know my readership)

i'm not going to bitch about my new job right now...though it's tempting. instead, i will say this. i really miss advising. i've heard rumors that my job will eventually involve advising...but for now it doesn't. and i miss it. i miss it even more after looking at the TAMU website and seeing a couple of full-time advisor positions. don't get me wrong...i like ABQ. but i'm frustrated to be away from a school that i know and a system i understand. and i miss working with students. i'm tired of hearing about advising and being trained on how to do it. i already know. and i want to do just that. so...hopefully my job will incorporate more of that and less data entry. and if it doesn't...then i have some things to ponder i think. (don't worry...not going anywhere yet. and not leaving ABQ yet....just pondering).

giving myself a break

so, part of why i'm hesitant to go to the conference on thursday is because the paper i'm presenting based on my dissertation stuff is just not ready. i had to revamp my questions and only just recently started doing interviews again. and i haven't really transcribed stuff from before. i started doing it today, thinking i could just find bits and pieces that would work...but it takes a long time. maybe because i'm trying to do it amidst distractions at work...but more likely because it just takes a long time. so, after thinking about it and getting some helpful feedback from a fellow ph.d. student, i've decided to withdraw the paper. i think this is the right decision for a few reasons. 1. i have no time and don't want to slapdick this together. 2. since it's my dissertation stuff, it really needs to be done right, and not done fast. 3. i can submit it next year for the conference when its NYC and by then, it will be in much better and coherent shape. 4. i'm still presenting another paper and presiding over a session...so i have plenty to do at the conference. i feel good about it...it has taken off some stress for sure. now i can focus on one paper and getting it ready to go. yippie skippy...instant headache relief!

viva las vegas

great weekend with mike in vegas. its august which means that it was the annual defcon conference. this year i actually understood the two presentations we went to (more or less), so that was an added bonus. overall it was a great weekend and it went way, way too fast. way. on friday, we ate good italian food, saw the fountains at the bellagio (FANTASTIC!), walked around a bit, and then chilled at caesar's. saturday we got up a little late and went to the conference for a while. got an early dinner at todai and went back to the conference for a while. lots of chillin' on satuday night though there were intentions of going out. sleepiness got the best of us...especially me. sunday was great...more sleeping in, lunch at In-N-Out Burger (which is the best food on earth!), and then lots of Keno playing and margarita drinking. it's safe to say that i was quite loopy by the time we got to the airport. and quite sad to say bye to vegas. there are lots of details that i'm leaving out ("did you fart?"...."no, he beeped"), but my brains are tired at the moment.

in other news, i'm preparing to leave yet again to go to montreal for a sociology conference. i don't really want to go and i have a feeling that that mostly has to do with my slacking on getting my papers ready. the thought of backing out on one of them has crossed my mind, but i think i can figure it out still. at least i'm consistently a procrastinator. it will be fun to catch up with aggie friends. AND it will be great to take a few days off from work. more on that later.

bring on the evening

i think its safe to say that i was draggin' ass all day today. had a headache, didn't feel great, didn't have time to get coffee (*gasp*). just didn't feel great. that is...until the work day ended. then i had a fantastic interview for my dissertation and got to have dinner with a great friend out here. it's somewhat amazing, and potentially concerning, how energized i felt once i left my cubey and did some purely kate stuff. i felt super motivated after the interview and had some revitalization for making progress toward data collection. and dinner was just fun and relaxing and tasty and stuff. it made me thankful that i've met such fun people here in the land of enchantment. i think for a while (i.e.- pre-job security) i was holding back in terms of getting to really know my friends out here. after two nights of fun friend time, its nice to know that trend is reversed. and because i don't want to leave anyone out, i'll take a moment to say that i love all my crazy friends spread out around the country and the globe. so...i ended up with a good day despite a lackluster 8-hour start. :)